Oh dear. Former Price Is Right host Bob Barker was on the Today show this morning hawking his new memoir, and it seems that he, for a brief beautiful second, almost entered the porn industry.

There's really nothing we can think of that the LA Times would not do to make a buck, right now. They will inevitably sink ever lower! Too bad, since today's front page is verrrrrrrry low.

For the second time this week, Code Pink managed to crash a televised speech on the economy and unfurl one of their giant banners. This time the victim was Larry Summers, who was addressing the Economic Club in Washington when several people ran on the stage. ("He is a toxic mess!" one activist shouted.) And just how did these people slip past security and make it on to the stage in the first place? Well, there was no security on hand, apparently, although we're guessing that's going to change in the near future. [HuffPo, Fox Business]

A little before noon this morning, the New York Times' web site appeared to be going through some catastrophic hiccups. It comes up every third try or so on some computers at Gawker HQ, but here's what we've been getting:

Palin's Deceptions, a meticulous, obsessive blog devoted to proving that Sarah Palin is not the mother of Trigg, has published an exhaustive "analysis" of Bristol Palin's MySpace messages going back to 2005.

It's time to put aside worries about the economy, Iranian nuclear proliferation, and whether Countess Luann de Lesseps will get to keep her title after her divorce, because a national issue of (literally) epic proportions needs explaining: Why are DD-cup bras so much more popular than they used to be? Are boobs getting bigger? Is it the prevalence of implants, the obesity epidemic, hormones in the water supply? Or is it simply that Oprah told women to go get fitted for the right bra size already?

David O. Russell continues to work, Ralph Fiennes plays evil so well, Virginia Madsen: champion of ski jumpers! Eastbound & Down will pitch again, and crazy Brittany Murphy joins a crazy movie.

Today is turning out to be very maritime oriented: A humpback whale has been spotted swimming under the Verrazano Bridge in the New York Harbor. This is kinda cool, and also kinda worrying.

The stroller-and-laptop-wielding factions of Park Slope have not yet broken out into open rebellion in the streets over the Park Slop Parents Messageboard Fee Outrage, although a splinter group may be increasing the palpable tension:

Michael Wolff called us about 374 times last week, insisting that he needed to speak with us about our story last month that revealed Wolff has been carrying on an affair with a former Vanity Fair intern and self-described "femme fatale" named Victoria Floethe. We didn't bother talking to Wolff, mainly because although he says he plans to write about his "downfall" in an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair, we hear editor-in-chief Graydon Carter would really rather Wolff indulge in his silly conspiracy theories elsewhere. In the meantime, though, we've put his tedious calls to good use with a Michael Wolff ringtone! You can listen to it above. Or you can download the MP3 version for your phone here. Sure, it's a huge step down from some of the other personalities we've turned into ringtones thus far (Anna! Andre! Padma! Isaac!) But we did do a Bernie Madoff ringtone a couple of months back, so Michael is in good company.

This memo just went out to New York Times employees from assistant managing editor Rick Berke—free lunch, if you can think of a way to save the paper some cash!

The Somali Pirate Crisis is the story of our generation! Virtually every major paper has big stories on the new American sailor heroes battling the buccaneers. Only the most interesting parts, below:

Burned-out Car on York & 60th St [NYCGrid via Curbed]

[Poor lonely Jen filming her new movie in New York; image via Splash]

Christiane Amanpour talking on her cell phone outside the Time Warner Center ... Rachel Zoe shopping in Soho ... Kim Kardashian and Brittny Gastineau watching the Knicks game at Madison Square Garden ... Brad Pitt arriving at JFK ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving her West Village townhouse in the rain ... Beth Ostrosky getting into an SUV ... Jason Bateman walking around on the set of The Baster ... Miley Cyrus leaving the Peninsula Hotel ... and Katy Perry arriving at Irving Plaza for a sound check before her show.

Good news for those of you who have little concern for the current economic or environmental climate: Damon Dash is releasing a blingy Range Rover Sport through his Tiret jewelry company which comes with "real diamond accents," 22-inch LSE alloy wheels, and a panoramic sunroof. No word on what inspired the collaboration, although given Damon's own Chevy Tahoe was recently seized by his bank after he failed to keep up with his car payments, we can only hope the deal involved him getting a new ride. [JustLuxe via Luxist]

Today we have a secretly gay actor hooking up in airports, an actress on a crazy cheating-on-my-husband spree, and an actress who went desperately in search of vodka and came up victorious.

Nobody would be surprised if skeevy American Apparel boss Dov Charney and nebbishy, schoolgirl-stroking Woody Allen turned out to be the same person. So naturally they're in court, accusing each other of the same things.

Want to visit the Plaza, but don't want to waste your money on an apartment, hotel room, or not-so-special meal at the Oak Room? You're in luck! The Plaza is offering a "free architecture tour" to people who sign up at 212-588-8012. [HotelChatter]

Violent drunks and junkies take heart: If Naomi Campbell can turn her life around, anyone can! The scary supermodel has been telling Giant magazine that she's finally been cured of her addiction to cocaine and alcohol by a therapy she calls The Program, which involves body cleanses and a Buddhisty-sounding philosophy that "teaches you to let go." Let go of what, one wonders? Certainly not bad behavior, since Naomi's image as an impossible diva prone to seismic tantrums is, she reveals, nothing but a silly myth, first perpetuated by her spurned former model agency boss John Casablancas. "He had to attack me because I decided to leave. Models can leave agencies. I was not under a written contract. I was shocked to see how he acted." Isn't it awful how one vindictive rumor can dog an innocent person for their entire career?