The Washington Post has published a detailed, massive report on George and Laura Bush's post-White House life, and it's like Revolutionary Road with war crimes.

The New School kids just won't stop getting arrested. At 10 p.m. last night, 200 protesters gathered in Union Square and tried to march en masse to New School president Bob Kerrey's house.

1010 WINS gets punked; repeats hoax that Lil' Kim is running for mayor of Hoboken.

The Obama girls are finally getting that puppy next week, and their father has managed to cap the drawn-out saga of the pup's acquisition with a masterful bit of political pageantry: It's a Kennedy dog!

Everything was just really gay this week, right?

[A German factory manufactures an army of wooden bunnies in preparation for Easter. Photo: Getty]

Life in the media is rough. CNET's Natali Del Conte got stuck in the foot, while Fox's Nancy Loo suffered a wound in makeup. These and other reports of suffering from the twittering class:

We hate to be the bearers of bad news, but despite what you may have heard earlier on Eyewitness News or 1010 WINS earlier today, Lil' Kim is not interested in becoming the next mayor of Hoboken. It turns out the story was circulated by a man claiming to be the rapper's publicist. Not that she necessarily minded the rumor: She described it as "flattering" in an interview with Extra, which means you may still be able to convince her to take part if you act quickly enough. [NYDN]

• It looks like Geoffrey Zakarian's Town has closed its doors. [GS]
• A roundup of other spots that have closed in the last couple of days. [Eater]
• More cheerful: This roundup of places slated to open next week. [TONY]
• Jim Lahey has a few, not-so-kind words for Times critic Frank Bruni, who had the audacity to award Lahey's Co. a single star earlier this week. [NYO]
• Why was the Beatrice Inn shuttered this week? It may have been the work of "haters" who "couldn't get in," explains Chloë Sevigny. [GS]

This week, Jim Berhle's Kats focus group Parks and Recreation and mourn the tragic death of Dr. Kumar. (SPOILER ALERT!!!)

Yes, pirates are dangerous criminals, blah blah blah. And yet in their home movies, they come off as kind of charming!

The future is now, more so than ever. Silicon Valley, filled with worshipers of the new, has embraced "realtime" as the latest trend. If it didn't happen in the last 10 minutes, it doesn't matter.

Specifically, old-fashioned "the commies are stealing our essence" talk followed by this hilarious conversation:

The most cathartic part of our week is here. We have to read all the awful unapproved comments all week. You don't. Well, you didn't. Now you have to read five of the worst:

Mayor Bloomberg may have been slow to update the decorations outside his East 79th Street townhouse, but he reports he's been better about keeping up to date on the inside. The mayor says he's converted almost all of the lights in his house to compact fluorescent bulbs," and "walks around his home to shut off lights [and] open windows." As for whether he drags newspapers, glass bottles, and other recyclables to the curb himself, he didn't say, but let's just assume he does until he says otherwise. [Newsday]

Well now: just because college protesters falsely cry "Police Brutality" sometimes doesn't mean that real police misconduct doesn't exist. For example: you can't knock kids down and arrest them because they say "Shame":

Let's see, how could the evil anti-gay group that calls itself NOM (NOM NOM) and had its hilarious commercial audition clips leaked to YouTube become even more comical? They found a way!

What are these Somali pirates, Democrats? The four wretched bandits huddled in a drifting lifeboat surrounded by US Navy gunships are now demanding $2 million, or the knives come out:

A tipster writes: "I saw Olivia Palermo at 7ish last night sucking down a cigarette in front of Forge on Reade St." Nice to hear she's a law-abiding citizen who has the decency to step outside to indulge in her habit, no? If you've spotted someone around town and you'd like to let us know about it, feel free to email us. [Previously]

A protest outside the New School turned violent this morning when students seeking the ouster of the university's president, Bob Kerrey, clashed with cops. According to the NYPD, 19 people were arrested in the melee. The department's spokesman, Paul Browne, also said the operation "was done in a very organized, orderly fashion," and the arrests were made in an "orderly fashion," although this video taken by an activist seems to dispute that account. Consider your faith in NYPD flacks shattered! [NYT/City Room]