The separation of microcelebrity nontrepreneur Julia Allison, the dating columnist turned egoblogger, and vapid handbag designer Mary Rambin has finally happened even though everyone has known for a month.

David Buckner, an anti-tax professor at Columbia University, passed out live on the air during Glenn Beck's increasingly insane broadcast this afternoon.

Twitter is the ideal medium to express your own idiocy. Dan Abrams denounces the mainstream media which gave birth to his career, a Google-enriched entrepreneur eats its free lunch, and Alan Meckler discovers Twitter:

In his very first press conference, Barack Obama called the question of a presidential puppy a "major issue." He was joking, but today on the cable news nets, they were just making jokes of themselves.

Look at eBay's books and it wouldn't seem to have money problems. But it's running a garage, unloading would-be Digg competitor StumbleUpon, and hopes to sell Internet phone service Skype. Why?

These memos went out to Newspaper Guild members this afternoon. They want members to take a survey on the NYT's proposed pay cuts—but they left out the survey. As one tipster says, "Not confidence inspiring."

[A friendly citizen in Queens reminds us that Tax Day is very, very close; image via Getty]

Crazy-haired music producer Phil Spector has been found guilty of second-degree murder in a Los Angeles court for the 2003 gruesome shooting death of actress Lana Clarkson. This was his second trial on the charge.

Jim Cramer can't stop talking about Jon Stewart, and this week he told a college newspaper that Stewart "ambushed" him and that the show lured him into the mauling with lies.

Downside of condoms: feeling. Upside of condoms: they prevent the Holocaust.

• Ian Schrager is bringing in some firepower to the Gramercy Park Hotel: Danny Meyer's Union Square Hospitality will take over space formerly occupied by Wakiya, and David Rockwell will handle the design, although the "Italian-inspired" restaurant doesn't have a chef or name just yet. [NYT]
• In a chat with the Observer, Meyer says he's "intrigued by the possibilities" of working with Schrager. He also says he has no plans to take over the Rainbow Room, and remains undecided about a bid for Tavern on the Green. [NYO]
• Rumor has it Todd English is out at The Libertine at the Gild Hall hotel. [TFB]
• Keith McNally's Minetta Tavern has added a late-night menu. [GS]
• A group of sad Beatrice Inn regulars gathered at the Cooper Square Hotel on Friday night. In attendance: one-half of the Olsen twins, Chloe Sevigny, and "some skinny guys with mustaches," naturally. [DBTH]
• The sandwich shop Crosby Connection opened on Bleecker today. [Eater]
• The best street food in NYC, at least according to the Post. [NYP]

Failed Internet mogul Alan Meckler is really excited about the Semantic Web, aka Web 3.0! And who can blame him, since he pretty much failed at versions 1.0 and 2.0? Meckler, who has run a passel of third-rate Internet websites since the early '90s, when he was best-known for trade titles like CD-ROM Librarian, now calls his company WebMediaBrands. Laurel Touby's Mediabistro.com is part of his collection. The boa-bedecked editrix reports breathlessly on Twitter that her boss has called the Semantic Web "the next stage of the Internet."

The child found inside a comet by actors Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will turn three this week, then be shipped off to a strict Scientology school, as it is her father's most ancient religion.

Just when you think it can't get any worse in Chicago media—that's right, it gets worse! Both major papers are already bankrupt. Now the Chicago Tribune is cutting another 20% of its newsroom. Ehhhhh.

Hello, pancake painter-to-the-stars Dan Lacey has completed another work of art suggested by you, the celebrity-obsessed Gawker readers. Today: "Mickey Rourke and the canine-star of Beverly Hills Chihuahua urinating on him."

Architecturally speaking, what will the bust leave us? Woolworth, Cunard, Standard Oil—their buildings stand even if their companies didn't. What do we get this go-around? Media- and finance-subsidized glass and steel, pretty much.

And you thought Wall Street was struggling. Goldman Sachs announced a first-quarter profit of $1.66 billion today, a 13 percent bump from what the bank earned during the quarter of 2007. Goldman also announced plans to raise $5 billion via a stock offering so it can pay back Washington the $10 billion it's received in bailout funds thus far. But don't mistake this for a grand civic gesture on the part of Goldman chief Lloyd Blankfein.

Page Sixer Paula Froelich has a book coming out called Mercury in Retrograde ("chick lit"). The current cover, pictured, is rather serene. But the original cover, pictured below, was more DYNAMIC:

Liz Smith reports:

The Obama girls are finally getting that puppy next week, and their father has managed to cap the drawn-out saga of the pup's acquisition with a masterful bit of political pageantry: It's a Kennedy dog!

The outgoing voicemail message at the home of author, Vanity Fair columnist and torture victim Christopher Hitchens actually rhymes. How adorable! [Jossip]