Breaking: two years of Tim Geithner's daily calendars prove that he was pretty friendly with Citigroup and Goldman. Also he leads a quietly tragic unexamined life of unending meaningless toil, JUST LIKE US!

Kelly Ripa carrying son Joaquin ... Anne Hathaway walking downtown with boyfriend Adam Shulman, and later taking her dog for a walk ... Beyoncé arriving at JFK ... Uma Thurman eating ice cream with son Levon and a friend in Midtown ... Mary-Kate Olsen riding a bike in the East Village with Nate Lowman ... Kim Kardashian looking like a tourist in Soho, and later getting a pedicure at a nail salon ... Katie Holmes standing on a sidewalk on the Lower East Side ... Elizabeth Hurley and husband Arun Nayar glaring at another couple on Madison Avenue ... Whitney Port walking in Soho ... Russell Crowe leaving his hotel ... Lindsay Price talking on her cell in the West Village ... Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson holding hands in Soho ... and Naomi Watts standing under an umbrella on a movie set in Brooklyn.

"Can you help? 1) What the h*ll is reconciliation and why does it work for health care but not anything else obama wants to pass?

[Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal flank director Carlos Cuaron (brother of Alfonso) at the premiere of their film Rudo Y Cursi at the Tribeca Film Festival yesterday; image via Getty]

Update: The rumors are true, confirms staff blogger Jeff Bercovici. We (and others) hear a rumor that Conde Nast is folding long-suffering $100 million business magazine and object of our fascination, Portfolio.

Today we have a drunken signer, a cheating British crooner, and a bunch of things about tweens—drunk ones, and miserly ones, and ones with coke problems. Plus, a bad mom.

The stories we recounted last week about the abusive working conditions at the estate of Nelson Peltz (see here and here) weren't the first complaints directed at the billionaire investor. Last month, James Turowski, who says he worked as a bodyguard and chauffeur for Peltz, filed a discrimination lawsuit against his employer. Turowski says he was working for the Peltzes when he sustained a serious head injury, and he ultimately had to be hospitalized for several weeks as a result. When he returned to work, however, he was almost immediately fired, a violation, he claims, of city and state employment laws as well as the Americans with Disabilities Act. Last week, Peltz's attorneys filed papers to move the case from state court to federal court. But Peltz's legal team may have more on its plate in the near future. We hear several former employees of his estate are now looking into filing a class action suit over the treatment they received working at Peltz's Westchester mansion. In the meantime, you'll find Turowski's suit after the jump.

Is swine flu kosher? Israeli health official prefers you call it "Mexican flu." [via Transracial]

News of Kate Winslet's butt, and of Heidi and Spencer's wedding. Which are sort of the same thing. Madonna welcomes Jesus into her heart, while Jamie Lynn Spears' boyfriend almost made it.

A couple of weeks ago, we reported on a lawsuit filed by Jim Ricobene, who claims that a debt collection agency hired by JPMorgan Chase had harassed his daughter on MySpace in their efforts to collect on an unpaid loan. The debt collector is now denying the charge and vowing to file a countersuit. James Papadopoulos of TechSpank has an update on the case, if you're interested. [Techspank, previously]

Is that the first murmur of a rebellion against Michelle Obama's fashion icon status? The first lady, widely admired for her cutting edge style, reportedly insisted upon deciding the looks for all of her magazine covers, even Vogue, for which she chose her own dress and used her own hair and make-up people. But if Anna Wintour was frustrated by such control freakery, she was too diplomatic to say so, unlike More editor-in-chief Lesley Jane Seymour, from whom Michelle also point-blank refused any input: "We were like, 'Excuse me, we tell you what to wear." She wanted none of that. She was creating the cover. She was creating the image. There's definitely a will of steel there." For God's sake, no one tell celebrities that such behavior might be permitted, or there'll be mutiny! Well, for the few months that print magazines continue to exist, anyway.

How can the world sustain its romantic pirate fantasies when the only real pirates are now getting their asses kicked not just by Navy SEALs (understandable), but by lesser nations and—god—cruise ships?

• Irish investor Derek Quinlan, who paid $26.25 million for the townhouse at 20 East 64th Street in 2006, and then later put it up for rent for $90,000-a-month, has now put the home up for sale with Dolly Lenz and Monique Silberman for $37 million. [Cityfile, PDE]
• CBS newsman Charles Osgood and his wife Jean have put their 5,100-square-foot apartment at the Osbourne at 205 West 57th Street on the market for $7.9 million. [NYT, Sotheby's]

WWD confirms the news that Condé Nast is folding Portfolio. The magazine's May issue will be its last. [WWD]

New York Times columnist Nick Kristof turns 50 today. Newark Mayor Cory Booker is turning 40. Basil Paterson, the labor lawyer and father of Gov. David Paterson, is 83. City Council member Eric Gioia turns 36. New-York Historical Society president Louise Mirrer is turning 56. Investment banker Eric Gleacher is 69. Actor Jack Klugman is 87. Fall Out Boy's Patrick Stump turns 25. Radio personality Casey Kasem is turning 77. And singer Sheena Easton celebrates her 50th today.

Last year, MTV looked into doing a reality show with Tinsley Mortimer, but the show was ultimately shelved, reportedly because the Tinz wasn't the most scintillating presence on screen: "She looked good, but she just got dressed and went to parties every day and didn't have anything interesting to say. It was incredibly boring," an MTV insider told Page Six at the time. Perhaps she'll have better luck this time around.

• Is Madonna leaning on her friends to hire boy-toy Jesus Luz so he can remain in the country legally? It's possible! [P6]
• Tyra Banks is expected to take the stand this week at the trial of the man accused of stalking her and threatening her staff. [NYDN, NYP]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are sending their attorneys after the couple's former bodyguard to ensure he doesn't write a tell-all about life in the Brangelina home. [NYDN]
• Salma Hayek and Francois-Henri Pinault had a second wedding in Venice this weekend; guests on hand for the occasion included Anna Wintour, Ed Norton, Stella McCartney, Bono, Charlize Theron, Woody Harrelson, Lucy Liu, Penelope Cruz, and Javier Bardem. [NYDN, People]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt tied the knot this weekend, too, although the event featured fewer A-listers and many more MTV cameras. [People]

• John Thain is striking back at Bank of America in an effort "to restore his sullied reputation," and accusing BofA's CEO, Ken Lewis, of lying. [WSJ]
• Thanks to rising profits, employees at several banks are on track to earn as much money this year as they did before the financial crisis. [NYT]
• UBS's head of investment banking, Jerker Johansson, is stepping down. [DB]
• Steve Rattner caught a break on Friday when Quadrangle Group investors decided not to shut down his scandal-plagued fund. [NYT, NYP]

When the vice president says something ridiculous, that is a gaffe, and when the president looks pissed about it, that is also a gaffe, and Barack Obama is sorry for everything, says Joe Biden.

Christopher Buckley's family tell-all has already made him some enemies. Will people look more kindly on the writer's crusade to break the news of his father's suicide urge?