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What a gorgeous New York weekend that was! 80's and sunny. Were you one of the many, many people that filled both Central and Bryant Parks with your naked selves? Photographic evidence after the jump.

In your bitter Monday media column: Newspaper circulation predictably declines, Martha Stewart is predictably scared of us, old people predictably get conned by media hustlers, and Portfolio's unpredictable burn rate:

Peter Arnell can't seem to catch a break these days. Earlier this year, the advertising mogul and "brand expert" was widely mocked for blowing millions on a silly, new logo Pepsi. Just weeks later, his decision to change Tropicana's packaging turned into an epic disaster, causing thousands of consumers to cry foul and sending sales plummeting by 20 percent. Now he has another more defeat to add to his list. HarperCollins just won a lawsuit against Arnell and he'll now have to write the publishing house a check for $100,000.

"I would like to nominate Miss California as the new face of the marriage movement," NOM head Maggie Gallagher recently said. A wonderful idea, she'll fit right in with the rest of the GOP leadership!

A 6.0 now revised to 5.6 magnitude earthquake has hit swine-flu ravaged Mexico City.

The victims of the Great Magazine Die-Off. Five more have been added to the Wall of the Dead since we did this last month.

Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook's CEO, is once again courting software developers. Where he once invited them to live on its site, he's now hoping they'll knit Facebook into desktop applications. It's another move to ape Twitter.

• More on the decision by Condé Nast to shut down Portfolio. [NYO, Gawker]
• Newspaper circulation figures for the past six months show steep declines at most major papers, including the Times, Post, and Daily News. One bright spot: the Wall Street Journal, which experienced a tiny, 0.6% gain. [E&P]
• Phil Falcone's Harbinger, the hedge fund that battled for a piece of the New York Times Co. last year, may now be looking to unload its stake. [WSJ]
• CNN has fallen behind MSNBC and Fox News, as you may have heard. [NYT]
• PRWeek is going monthly. But it'll still be called PRWeek, so you know. [NYT]
• Obsessed starring Beyonce was No. 1 at the box office this weekend. [THR]

The Way We Live Now: Panicky! Swine flu is happening so sell your stocks, for some reason! Japan is shrinking! The good grocery store went out of business! Where will we buy our 'Recession soup?'

[Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] April 25 @ 9pm I said "Shannen!" like we were old friends and she blew me off.

The trial of Brooke Astor's son kicked off this morning with prosecutors arguing that Anthony Marshall was a liar and a thief who'd conspired to steal $200 million from his ailing mother. More importantly, the prosecution indicated that some 60 witnesses could be called to testify—including Barbara Walters, Henry Kissinger, Annette de la Renta, David Rockefeller, former UN secretary general Kofi Annan, New York Public Library head Paul LeClerc, and former Met chief Philippe de Montebello—so there should be plenty of material to keep up the public's attention for what is expected to be a three-month trial. [NYDN, NYP]

News from sparkly TV shows about music, plus sparkly movies about gays. The British really like our sad American TV shows, while Maria Bello likes to fire people. Plus, Elmore Leonard.

You can always tell how kinky a Republican is by how vociferously they condemn whatever they secretly love, which maybe is why Andrea Peyser is writing about violent teen sex now.

It turns out that plane that flew low over Manhattan this morning was just President Obama's back-up plane; it was on a mission so that Air Force photographers could take pictures of Lower Manhattan. Officials in Washington say they informed City Hall and the NYPD about the plan in advance, although the NYPD now says it was prohibited from alerting the public. So, as a result, everyone who saw the plane freaked out, several office buildings were evacuated, and nervous traders sent the stock market plunging for several minutes until they found out that it wasn't a terrorist attack. Sure hope the photos were worth it! [NYT/CityRoom]

Did you know that Michael Wolff's unknown, third-rate website is "the fastest growing news site in the country"? Did you know it's putting the New York Times out of business? We sure didn't, and while we have our doubts about the continued survival of the Times, too, we're pretty sure the last thing Arthur Sulzberger Jr. worries about before he goes to sleep at night is the fifth failed media company that Michael Wolff has started over the past two decades. But it is nice to hear him talk about his company's unique ability to take an "incredibly long, incredibly gassy" Times story that's 1,200 words and reduce it to 65-120 words without losing "a thing." Perhaps next Wolff could kindly take his gassy 3,300-word columns for Vanity Fair and reduce them, too? Considering that amid all the gassiness, Wolff rarely has a point to make, a five or ten-word sentence should suffice. A clip from Wolff's appearance on CNBC on Friday night after the jump.

Oh hey, a 747 just circled around lower Manhattan today, and then some fighter jets showed up. That isn't the sort of thing anyone should've been warned about!

Quickly, don your paper masks! Stay indoors! The dirty Mexican pig influenza is here, to sicken you! Wocka wocka. Did you know that America had another swine flu panic, in 1976? Let's reminisce, and laugh:

Conde Nast, Manhattan's most lavish magazine publisher, was once able to subsidize expensive and monumental magazine launches with newspaper profits. But now the last of its kind, Portfolio, is dead.

Beyoncé has stomped over the land and pillaged and burned, and we are all beholden to her now. Not even Iron Man and a singing, dancing teenager can stop her. We wish you good luck.