"Sopresso." "Brie." "Porcini Dusted Petite Filet." "Mascarpone Polenta." Do those sound like the sorts of things men of the people eat?

No. Of course not. Those are elitist, John Kerry-esque "foreign" foods that the common man cannot pronounce, let alone ingest. And yet we can exclusively report that this weekend, Todd Palin, Greta Van Susteren, Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, Bret Baier, and Chris Wallace will eat all of those things and more, while wearing tuxedos.

Will they be at some sort of black-tie limosine liberal America Hate-a-Thon Charity Fundraiser for Madrassas? Yes, they will be, pretty much. Only it's called "The Fox Table" at "The White House Correspondents Dinner."

Now of course we don't care what these people eat in their free time, these would-be champions of the working man, these so-called regular guys. No, we are just shocked and outraged that no one else saw fit to report this fact! It is the image-manipulation, you see, and the craven attempt by the Fox News Channel to suppress the story of their supposed "real guy" on-air personalities eating these exotic delicacies.

If Sean Hannity doesn't call out his fellow "truth-tellers" on Monday, we'll know exactly how deep this conspiracy of silence goes. Enjoy your fancy dinner, guys.