Wonderful news: Hiram Monserrate is a Democrat again! The New York state Senator who famously glassed his girlfriend and whose term cannot end soon enough switched back to caucusing with his party and doomed the Senate to (yet more) gridlock.

The first edition of email newsletter Very Short List is out for the first time under the control of New York Observer publisher Jared Kushner. What advertiser do you think he lined up?

On the scene to cover the Puerto Rican Day parade: none other than heir to the New York Times throne, A.G. "The Future" Sulzberger! A.G. did what he does best: ferret out penetrating quotes.

Items that can be found inside the home of Barneys creative director Simon Doonan and interior design maven Jonathan Adler, per this week's New Yorker: Two garden gnomes. A paisley-patterned Ping-Pong table. A burlap bust of Napoleon. A huge black statue of a foot. A bar full of glasses emblazoned with skull-and-crossbones decals and labels reading "Arsenic," "Strychnine," "Cyanide," and "Wood Alcohol." And a large leather hippopotamus. Now you know! And after you're done reading about it, you'll find a few photos of the apartment here. [NYer]

The movie about drunks and their drunken ways keeps hitting the big time. As does the movie about white people in the jungle. Meanwhile, Eddie Murphy and John Travolta have both seen better days.

Back in May, Calvin Klein Jeans erected an billboard on Houston Street featuring four teenagers making out. The campaign was designed to stir up controversy: When it was first announced, the company gleefully revealed that a companion TV spot had been banned by American television networks before it even aired. Well, it's been more than month now, but the Daily News has finally managed to find some people outraged by the sexually-charged billboard. People like Rev. Don Wildmon, who runs the American Family Association and who says the billboard "shows a lack of respect for our society." Of course, Wildmon may have to squint pretty hard to see the billboard from his vantage point: He lives in Tupelo, Mississippi. [NYDN]

A guy in Miami made up a fake woman's online profile and lured Fidel Castro's son into sexy internet chats. Big news, or just like every other unintentionally male-on-male sexy internet chat?

Stop worrying, everyone. Even though Iran's election results have never been announced so quickly, and even though the loser has been placed under house arrest, the reelection of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was what the people wanted. A poll proves it!

The players: Manhattan media playboy Jared Kushner's younger brother Joshua (pictured); Harvard students; rich people; and NYT faux-trend specialist Allen Salkin. It's a case where both an idea and the meta-coverage of the idea are equally enraging!

Remember the Uighurs, the Chinese Muslims we picked up in Afghanistan and locked up in Guantanamo for years despite not having done anything? They are totally loving Bermuda!

[Jazzy bluesy pop singer John Mayer helps a friend leave a bar in LA last night; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Today we have a sleazy Hamptons realtor, a saucy nightclub chanteuse, a drunken reporter, a recovering actress, an actress too busy driving through garage doors to recover, and a nice guy actor who maybe isn't so nice.

Current TV freelancers Laura Ling and Euna Lee are locked in a North Korean prison. Do you know whose fault this is? That's right, the internet's! It's true.

Ruth Madoff is the "most vilified spouse of a financial rogue in history," have you heard? The Times checked in on the "loneliest woman in New York" over the weekend and it seems little has changed for the wife of fraudster Bernie Madoff. She spends most of her time "confined" to her East 64th Street apartment, she no longer works out at the nearby Equinox, and she generally only steps foot outside to buy food or pay a visit her lawyer. And while several nearby businesses have instituted Madoff bans over the past few months—such as the Pierre Michel salon on East 57th Street where Ruth turned up faithfully every six weeks for "Soft Baby Blonde" highlights—at least one says it would be willing to allow her back inside: The general manager of the restaurant Sette Mezzo says he'd welcome her back if she comes up with the $160 she and her husband owe for a meal back in December. So that's good news, isn't it? [NYT]

Gisele Bundchen stopping off at Five Guys in the West Village, and later leaving her townhouse with a shopping bag ... Amy Poehler walking in the meatpacking district ... Whitney Port pulling an empty clothing rack down the sidewalk ... Tiki Barber walking up Lexington Avenue ... Uma Thurman leaving her West Village townhouse with son Levon ... Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt arriving at JFK ... Tina Fey rehearsing scenes for Date Night with Steve Carrell in Tribeca ... Will.i.am shopping at Jeffrey in the meatpacking district ... Rihanna going to see The Hangover at the AMC Loews in Kips Bay ... Jeff Goldblum holding hands with his girlfriend ... Nicole Kidman walking in Soho ... Cameron Diaz leaving The New School in the Village ... and Kirsten Dunst picking up dinner from Nobu Next Door in Tribeca.

Megan Fox affirms that she's single and looking, Sienna Miller claims to have never been on a date or had a one-night stand, Susan Boyle is suffering from exhaustion, and Jon and Kate celebrate their anniversary apart.

• Albert Hammond Jr. has gone into contract to sell his East Village apartment. Again. The 1,200-square-foot pad at 141 East 3rd Street, which Hammond went into contract to sell last year before the buyer dropped out, was most recently priced at $899,000. [Cityfile, Corcoran]
• Raymond Weil president Benny Shabtai is once again lowering the price of his townhouse at 870 Park Avenue. The 11,875-square-foot, Robert A.M. Stern-designed home, which was listed with Carrie Chiang for $19.95 million in March, is now priced at $17.5 million. [NYO, Corcoran]
• Fans of the Baldwin brothers, take note: The Upper Grandview, NY home of Stephen Baldwin is scheduled to be auctioned off on June 24th. The reality "star" (and brother of Alec) is more than $824,000 behind in payments on the home that he and wife Kennya paid $515,000 for in 1997. [TMZ, Luxist]

If you're like most Americans you spend your summer weekends tuning out the rest of the world. In the event you turned on your computer today and wondered, "What the hell is going on in Iran?"—Here's a summary.

Tory Burch turns 43 today. Former governor Mario Cuomo is turning 77. Helen Hunt is 46. Neil Patrick Harris is turning 36. Courteney Cox is 45. Fashion designer Douglas Hannant is turning 47. PR agency chief Richard Edelman turns 55. Socialite Bettina Zilkha is turning 50. Gallerist Marian Goodman is 81. Former Yankee Andy Pettitte is turning 37. Hedge fund manager Raj Rajaratnam turns 52. Ice Cube is is 40. Leah Remini is turning 39. Porn star Mary Carey is 29. And Project Runway Season 2 winner Chloe Dao turns 37 today.

• The father of Mercy James, the girl being adopted by Madonna, says he has no plans to object to the adoption, and a nanny and nurse have already touched down in Malawi to take care of her. So it looks like the little girl will be climbing aboard Madonna's jet to head to NYC any day now. [Reuters, DM, Sun]
• David Carradine's funeral took place in LA on Saturday and more than 400 mourners turned up for the occasion, including Lucy Liu, Michael Madsen, Jane Seymour, Tom Selleck, Daryl Hannah, Lucy Liu, Edward James Olmos, and Rob Schneider. [Us, AP, People]
• Jeff Goldblum, who is 56, and his new girlfriend, 21-year-old Lost actress Tania Raymonde, "can't keep their hands to themselves," which may explain why they've been seen "making out all over town." [AMNY]