Remember the Uighurs, the Chinese Muslims we picked up in Afghanistan and locked up in Guantanamo for years despite not having done anything? They are totally loving Bermuda!

We are going to pretend that certain soulless assholes have not weighed in on this story, and just focus on what looks, so far, like a delightful happy ending to the miserable tale of America's post-9/11 desperation to look like it was doing something.

"I went swimming in the ocean for the first time ever yesterday, and it was the happiest day of my life," said Salahidin Abdulahat, 32.

They even say they don't have any hard feelings against the US! Despite our, you know, locking them up in solitary confinement and interrogating them for the crime of being Muslims in a Muslim country!

Now they can play in the waters. Khaleel Mamut, 31, said he went fishing on a boat on Saturday and caught his first fish ever. "I was so excited," he said. "You just drop the hook in the water and you get a fish."

Hooray for the Uighurs!