D.C. Rep. Eleanor Holmes Norton was caught on video this week hitting another car while doing some nonvoting approximation of "parking" before strolling away from the disturbing scene like a boss with her head held high.

Actress Mariel Hemingway apparently spent her youth turning down advances from famous old guys—according to a Page Six report, Woody Allen was so intent on taking her to Europe he flew out to her parents house in Idaho to convince the whole family.

New audio recovered from Germanwings flight U49525 indicates one of the pilots had been locked out of the cockpit moments before the plane crashed into the French Alps Tuesday.

Real estate developer Douglas Durst says his accused-murderer brother Robert was stalking him around Florida even as episodes of The Jinx began airing on HBO.

A year-long AP investigation reveals the global fish market feeds off a robust slave fishing trade benefitting everyone involved except the slaves, who are reportedly kept in cages and whipped with toxic fish when they get tired. Sounds pretty bad!

Remember senior spring in high school? Now imagine if you could take all the irresponsibility, sex, and drinking, but set it 40,000 feet in the air and throw in a gun and federal mandate. Look at that guy! Look at his shades!

Wearing clothes is mostly good. Being yourself, also good. Our official position is: Wear what you like. Unless what you like is memecore thermals adorned with enhanced images of Big Macs and sold to you by the McDonald's corporation. McDonald's is going into fashion, and it's bad.

Since 2000, the number of jobs within commuting distance of an average American resident has fallen by 7%. Despite the fact that long commutes are one of the biggest barriers to human happiness, our commutes are getting longer. We are smart.

A tipster forwarded us this video, purportedly of a group of Tulane University students beheading a goat.

Today, the Daily Mail brings us the story of Toudi, a three-month old chihuahua small enough to fit in the palm of your hand. Look at the tiny guy. Awwwwww. What a cutie. Awwwwwwww. Awwwwwwwwwwww... look at that huge dick.

Bowe Bergdahl, the Army sergeant rescued last year after five years in Taliban captivity, has been charged with desertion and misbehavior before the enemy, according to his attorney.

In the lyric pamphlet to Black Messiah, D'Angelo's third album after 14 years away from the spotlight, the soul-savant explains his reasoning behind its title and sudden release: "Some will jump to the conclusion that I am calling myself a Black Messiah," he begins. "For me the title is about all of us...It's about people rising up in Ferguson and in Egypt and in Occupy Wall Street and in every place where a community has had enough and decides to make change happen. It's not about celebrating one charismatic leader but celebrating thousands of them."

You know who just bought a house? A new house? Ayden, and Kylie, and tens of thousands of their "millennial" generation friends. Did you also buy a house? Or no?

You remember the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine tries to get the 212 phone number of her dead neighbor Mrs. Krantz because she believes dialing the 646 area code takes too long? The New York Times has a report saying that New Yorkers still eagerly covet the 212 area code for their cell phones. These people sound wack.

Robert Durst was a "good listener" who kept only a saw in his luxury apartment's spare bedroom, according to a Dallas woman who claims to have dated the accused murderer in 2000. "There was a little bedroom with a concrete floor, and it had a saw," Linda Walker Zevallos told the TODAY Show.

The financial markets have been on the rise for the past six years. That can only mean that doom is around the corner. What financial bubble is waiting to pop, and destroy us? Today: biotech stocks.

Cultural critic Fran Lebowitz is the perfect dresser if you enjoy women in men's suit jackets and cowboy boots, and the perfect speaker if you enjoy words. ELLE.com's Kathleen Hale recently sat down with Lebowitz at Burger Heaven (after Lebowitz threatened to cancel the interview if Hale was going to conduct it via the cell phone she used to contact Lebowitz) for a wide-ranging interview on a bunch of shit that Lebowitz hates (yoga pants, men in shorts, glasses jackers) and a few things Lebowitz likes (Dolly Parton). You should read the whole thing because it's absolutely the best celebrity interview of the year so far, but I'm pasting in some highlights below:

As the trade winds that blow across the seas are always in flux, so too are the diaper-buying trends of parents around the world. A powerful metaphor? Yes.

Lindsey Combs, 32, was killed in her driveway Monday in Martinez, Ca. after a load of gravel in a truck's trailer tipped over and fell on top of her car while she was inside. Her four-year-old daughter reportedly watched as the gravel crushed her mother, who was two months pregnant.

Director Abel Ferrara is calling for a boycott of the US edit of his new film based on the Dominique Strauss-Kahn rape trial, accusing the distributors of changing the message of the director's cut to make the former IMF chief look better.