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Cityfile has partnered with Dr. Helen Fisher to bring you the latest insight into love and romantic attraction. A renowned biological anthropologist, Dr. Fisher has conducted extensive research in the fields of human sexuality, love and marriage. She serves as Chief Scientific Advisor for the internet dating site Chemistry.com.

Question: Is it possible to be in love with two people at once?

Answer: No, it really isn't possible to be "in love" with two people at once. One of the primary traits of romantic love is that it's focused on just one person at a time. There is biology to this. We scanned the brains of a group of people madly in love in search of the brain circuitry of romantic love.

We found some of it. A main area that becomes active is exactly the same brain region that becomes active when you feel the rush of cocaine. And this brain region produces dopamine, a natural stimulant that gives you intense focus, as well as energy, euphoria, mood swings, craving and motivation. If you are just beginning to court two (or more) people, you may swing from a mild infatuation for one to feelings of mild romance with another. But gradually you focus more and more of your attention on one person. At the height of intense romantic love you even seem to feel merged with your partner. Nothing but the two of you exist.

So if you feel "in love" with two people at the same time, I would suspect that you are probably not intensely "in love" with either. It is easy to feel the sex drive—the craving for sexual gratification—for more than one person. But romantic love for two people at once? Never. The brain pathways for romantic love evolved for a specific purpose: to focus your attention on just one individual.

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