Orlando Bloom passes on playing Will Turner to be with his girlfriend, Megan Fox thinks zombies are sexy, Tara Reid is quite skinny, Paris Hilton claims to have inspired Michael Jackson and Amy Winehouse almost dies after a binge.

A-Rod turns 34 today. Billionaire investor Eddie Lampert turns 47. Actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers is 32. Musician Pete Yorn is turning 35. Maya Rudolph is turning 37. Legendary TV producer Norman Lear is 87. Comedian Jerry Van Dyke turns 78. Former Olympic figure skater Peggy Fleming is turning 61. Taxi & Limousine Commissioner Matthew Daus is 41. And Nick Hogan, the scandal-prone (and recently imprisoned) son of Hulk and Linda Hogan, turns 19 today.

• Poor J. Lo. She threw a big 40th birthday party for herself over the weekend and some guests actually had the nerve to show up late! [NYDN]
• It's been a rough ride for Kate Major, the former Star reporter who said she was Jon Gosselin were in love. On Saturday, Gosselin said he was single; on Sunday, the tabloids suggested Major was a former escort. So now she's supposedly planning to get revenge by writing a tell-all. [People, NYDN, NYDN]
• In other Gosselin news, he was seen buying himself $950 wingtips over the weekend, or "two pairs of shoes for each of his kids." [P6]
• Although they've been dating for months now (and haven't exactly been doing a very good job of keeping their relationship a secret), Kate Hudson and A-Rod went public with their romance on Saturday. [NYDN]

The arrest of Henry Louis Gates and its resulting controversy has led to an increase of crazy-talk on the internet, not the least of which has been people visiting the online magazine where Gates is editor-in-chief to leave vile comments.

AT&T, for reasons unknown at this point, has blocked user access to portions of 4chan, the online hangout for the world's most notorious cyber-terrorists. And they thought iPhone customers were a pain in their ass! This will end badly.

Poor Goldman Sachs. Now that non-finance people are learning how they've been getting rich by gaming the system like a gambler with knowledge of every card on the table, their reputation is circling the drain. Do they care? Hell no!

Here's a shocker: According to a tipster, American Apparel's pervy madman CEO, Dov Charney, is demanding the firing of employees he deems unattractive and thus detrimental to the "AA aesthetic," as he feels they may be hurting his bottom line.

The most memorable moment from last week's Walter Cronkite memorial service was Andy Rooney's heartbreaking inability to say much about his longtime friend after his emotions got the best of him. Last night on 60 Minutes, he tried again.

Apologies to MCA: get better, man. NOW here's a little story/I'd like to tell/about one Phyllis Nefler/you know so well/she rocks the W & C of Sunday's NYT/And she's about to kick/a little history...

The nice thing about Eliot Spitzer's post-politics career? He's still in politics. But because he doesn't have an office to run for all the time, he's basically saying whatever he wants. Like calling the Federal Reserve a "ponzi scheme."

First it was Beverly Hills Chihuahua and now live-action shooting Guinea pig schlockfest G-Force wins at the box office. Before Hollywood OKs 19 talking animal movies, will someone please remind them about Kangaroo Jack? [EW]

Tina Brown's keeping plenty busy these days, both feeling out the pain of the hoi polloi - but especially of those old media people she intends on stomping out - while failing to slide her kid into Harvard with connections.

Sarah Palin's resigning as Alaska's Governor, which is sad, because we're gonna miss getting to write about her. Except not, because she's Palin. Her final press conference as governor starts in 30 minutes, and we're gonna be liveblogging it.

Recently we told you about a new book that claims Jackie Kennedy and brother-in-law Robert were engaged in a long-hidden affair. But just wait! There is an utter smackdown of the book and the man who wrote it.

We showed you the insider's guide surviving McKinsey & Co.'s culling of the Conde Nasties, but it turns out that reality television staple Survivor also hold plenty of (probably useless) advice to outwit, outplay, and outlast your coworkers.

The arrest of Harvard's star African-American studies professor Henry Louis Gates has reignited national conversation about things like racial profiling! The important part of the conversation, however? What the best of pop culture has to say about it, naturally.

Why bother going to San Diego for Comic-Con when you can just sit in your living room and read all the good coverage of it! Now, when you talk to your nerdy sci-fi friends, you won't look like an idiot.

This is fun: Spy founder Kurt Andersen boastfully threw a picture up on his Facebook page of him sitting twenty feet away from a certain president's wife, speaking to a room full of people. Andersen was positively schoolyard-crush giddy.

What kind of wacky, ridiculous business of the New York Times does Public Editor Clark Hoyt have to examine lately? Try this one on for size: putting the public at risk while driving, and bragging about it via the photo.

Proving crazy hair and bad attitude are more alluring to teenagers than mild-mannered magic, Google Trends shows Pattinson is significantly more searched than Radcliffe. That snap you just heard was the simultaneous locking of 7 million chastity belts. [PopEater]