MSNBC and Richard Wolffe have been taking heat for Wolffe's employment at the network as a political analyst and guest host for Keith Olbermann while also working as a lobbyist/publicist. Now Wolffe's secret Obama book proposal has been revealed.

Tonight Paula Abdul announced that she's leaving American Idol. Bonnie Fuller then stepped up to call shenanigans on Paula. All of this salacious drama played out on Twitter, naturally.

So today's Barack Obama's birthday, that is, if you believe the information provided on that fake Hawaiian birth certificate of his. So to commemorate the occasion, Glenn Beck put together a loving tribute to our black, Muslim, communist czar.

Ed Henry is still bitter about a college rejection letter; Jack Shafer might be an actual robot and Susan Orlean's laptop is l33t. The Twitterati revealed unexpected things about themselves.

4 people are confirmed dead and at least ten more wounded by gunfire after a man opened fire inside of a LA Fitness center in Collier township, a few miles southwest of Pittsburgh.

Last November, Mary Anderson attended a Method Man concert at Houston's House of Blues. Later, she approached Method Man, whom Ms. Anderson was a fan of, for an autograph. He then pulled out a gun and opened fire on her.

The New York Times is reporting tonight that Russian submarines have been lurking in waters off the eastern coast of the country for the last few days, aggressive military actions not seen since the end of the Cold War.

• Vanity Fair's rather dubious "International Best-Dressed List" is now online. Take a few minutes to browse through the slideshow to see the obvious picks, close personal friends of Graydon Carter, Condé Nast employees, precious Vanity Fair advertisers, as well as a few exciting new entrants such as Michael Bloomberg, who, as you can see above, always dresses to impress. [VF]

So here's Herman Rosenblat, who admitted months ago to fabricating his book about his wife throwing apples to him over a concentration camp fence, telling two movie producers the story, as though it's true. WTF?

A Flickr user is complaining loudly that the photo service allowed 3,000+ of his photos to be deleted by a hacker with no warning. Now they're supposedly gone, forever. When will Flickr start making backups?

Annie Leibovitz dug herself so deeply into debt that she was forced to mortgage her photographs to a high-end pawn shop to pay off her creditors. Who did she owe money to? None other than Condé Nast, her biggest patron.

Did Page Six get you all excited this morning about the possibility of Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law doing a steamy gay love scene in Guy Ritchie's upcoming Sherlock Holmes? We scoured the screenplay for the movie's gayest scene.

On Fox's Romper Room and Friends this morning, Glenn Beck said we should all probably save the nation with the power of prayer.

• Anita Lo hopes to re-open her fire-damaged Annisa next month. [TONY]
• Closings: Frederick Lesort's Frederick's Downtown closed up shop last Friday; and the UWS outpost of Blondies has been shuttered by the tax cops.
• Frank Bruni shares his thoughts on Bastianich and Batali's Casa Mono. [NYT]
• A rooftop beer garden called Berry Park is coming soon to Williamsburg. [UD]
• The Eldridge had to do some renovations after a vandalism incident. [DBTH]
• The city is looking to support aspiring chefs by turning a 4,000-square-foot space in Harlem into a big kitchen for foodie entrepreneurs. [NYT]
• The boost its bottom line and make employees more "productive," Starbucks is now looking to limit unnecessary "walking, reaching, and bending." [WSJ]
• Tom Colicchio and wife Lori Silverbush welcomed a son into the world on Saturday. He's named Luka Bodhi Colicchio, in case you're wondering. [People]

American genius thinker of the first order Mark Penn has produced yet another newspaper column, about a Microtrend, as is his wont. This one is about how We Are All Bosses Now and features many nonsensical space-filling words, namely:

Dennis Hof sure is a generous man. The owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada plans to offer hundreds of elected politicians across the country a little pick-me-up with a "government assistance program," which involves him mailing out what he calls "good time party passes" to every senator, congressman and governor in America.

White House Press Corps doyenne Helen Thomas turned 89 today! Coincidentally, today is also the day Barack Obama's grandparents chose when they forged Obama's birth certificate 48 years ago. Obama gave her cupcakes!

"Gathering of the Juggalos Survival Guide." Oh ho ho. Society, weird and wonderful! Internalize it.

If you missed out on the chance to brag to all your friends that you fell victim to a Ponzi scheme targeted to high net-worth individuals, you may still get to see your name appear on a list of really rich people who now find themselves in a world of trouble.

Bogusky, aren't you in Miami, you overgrown yuppie skate rat bastard? They shoot at people for making videos like this in Miami. At least give the kids a chance.