Shilling has never looked more attractive: Amid an old-media depression, "sponsored" blogging company Izea thinks it can get you around $1 per character to sell out on Twitter.

...by completing this fun-filled survey about YOU. Send the last question to surveys@gawker.com, thereby entering to win a $300 AMEX gift card. Then we'll take a long walk on the beach together. Love, Gawker. [Contest rules apply.]

Hope you don't injury yourself or have to go to the hospital for some reason. A new study indicates that the average waiting time at emergency rooms in New York—288 minutes, or nearly five hours—is among the longest in the country. [Crain's]

Bill Clinton went on over to North Korea, met the crazy dictator there, and won: North Korea has pardoned Current TV reporters Laura Ling and Euna Lee for their slanders and calumnies.

Has any celebrity tied himself so closely to a technology product as Ashton Kutcher with Twitter? It's doubtful, and yet Kutcher hasn't received a dime for his defacto endorsement. That's not lost on the actor.

In your sizzling Tuesday media column: the future of the media is paid, Newsweek fights the power in Iran, another mag mogul kicks BusinessWeek's tires (made of paper), and Dan Rather's madder'n a lake trout with fiery testicles, at CBS.

• Keith Olbermann took Times reporter Brian Stelter to task last night for reporting that News Corp. and GE had worked out a deal to tone down the rhetoric between MSNBC and Fox News. But he didn't disagree with everything Stelter reported. Conveniently, only the bad stuff about him was wrong. [NYM]
• More bad news for Olbermann: MSNBC now admits it made a mistake by not disclosing that Countdown fixture Richard Wolffe is a paid lobbyist. Naturally, Olbermann had absolutely no idea about any of this. [Politico, Salon]
• Condé Nast is shedding more staff. This time around it appears the media giant's receptionists will be paying the ultimate price. [Gawker, NYM]
• Reps for Bruce Wasserstein met with BusinessWeek execs yesterday to discuss a bid for the magazine. Joe Mansueto, the founder of Morningstar and owner of Fast Company, may be a potential bidder as well. [BW]

The only moneymaking scheme better than the one Bernie Madoff operated for two decades (if only because it's perfectly legal): the one that Madoff court-appointed trustee Irving Picard is now running. Picard's firm is charging $1 million a week to disassemble Madoff's investment firm and is stands to collect as much as $250 million when all is said and done. [NYP]

On The Daily Show last week, John Oliver explored the difficulty Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner is having selling his house. It was funny! But was it true? Geithner or his broker might have been lying a little bit! [UPDATE: Corrected.]

If you didn't like our bootleg leaked version of the trailer for Ho/Bro blogger Tucker Max's upcoming cinematic tour-de-force, I Enjoy Alcohol, you can watch the official trailer below. Really, this one's much better.

"I saw Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump having lunch today at the '21' Club," a tipster tells us. "They were with two other people. Not sure who the others were." The tipster didn't see them sipping champagne either, but the couple certainly has plenty to celebrate. Not only did Ivanka break the news on Twitter a couple of weeks ago that Jared had proposed, late last night she sent around word that she and her dad have retaken control of Trump Entertainment Resorts, the string of casinos in Atlantic City that filed for bankruptcy protection earlier this year. Fitting they decided to eat at a restaurant with "21" in the name, don't you think?

MSNBC keeps the Washington Post's Jonathan Capehart locked in a room with a camera. Sometimes they throw him a bagel, which he scarfs down because he's hungry from never not being on television, and then they laugh at him.

Willingness to get very, very close to your subjects a plus, too. [Mediabistro]

Social networking is for lonely, psychotic shut-ins. Or at least that's the upshot of the jokes in the attached clip from Adam Sandler vehicle Funny People. And still MySpace apparently cooperated with the filmmakers; its co-founder and logo appear.

You, Starbucks worker: Your inefficiencies are showing! You lean to scoop coffee at a sub-optimal angle! You waste precious seconds with your sloppy human movements! Improve efficiency, serve coffee two seconds faster on average! Move swiftly for mother company's glory!

Bill Clinton came through. Last night the former president jetted off to North Korea to negotiate the releases of Laura Ling and Euna Lee, the two journalists who have been imprisoned since March after they were accused of crossing over into North Korean territory without permission. Now they'll be going home. Kim Jong-Il has issued a "special pardon" and agreed to release them. [Reuters]

Kimora Lee Simmons owns the word "fabulosity." (Really, she does.) The definition, though, appears to have changed a bit. Back when the going was good, such fabulosity might have included a Perrier-Jouët champagne pedicure. Now? "Fabulosity is being able to buy an outfit for under $100," she explains WWD. Fortunately, her attorney appears to be one step ahead of her. In addition to "mesh shopping bags" and "imitation leather key chains," in the future she will also be free to stamp the "Fabulosity" name on such items as "vinyl and leather pouches for holding disposable bags to place pet waste in."

This could be the unkindest Conde Nast cut of all: A tipster tells us that "as of Monday, Glamour will no longer have a receptionist." And this may be only the beginning.

Even though no one knows that there's anyone running against him, Mike Bloomberg's numbers are falling. So yesterday, in a campaign speech, he promised to make all the trains run on time.

Pacing American Apparel CEO and full-grown adult Dov Charney is denying our tipster's report that he's been purging his stores of "ugly" employees. But hey, would it kill you ugly people to be fashionable, at least?