Joe Francis fought with Brody Jenner and his girlfriend. Kristen Stewart's naked, lacks confidence, blows Robert Pattinson...away. Jason Biggs + Monkey = Comedy. Lily Allen is scary, Jessie Spano needs advice, Oasis broke up. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup.

Adam "DJ AM" Goldstein, the nightclub disk jockey who not one year ago narrowly escaped death in a jet crash, was found dead in his New York apartment. He was 36.

Sarah Lacy was severely inconvenienced by a visa snafu; Mark Glaser was dissed by a conference and a writer danced on Oasis' grave. The Twitterati were feeling huffy.

The proposer: Adam Hirsch, COO of geek business hub Mashable. The courted: Sharon Feder, Mashable's Managing Editor. The location: On stage at the Social Good conference at the 92nd St. Y. And the verdict?

Yes, well, you will allow us just a bit of sentimentality in the headline, right? Don't worry: the rest of this week was your usual greed, crime, death, sex, and reality television.

[Dervishes whirl before the pre-sunrise Ramadan meal yesterday in the Lebanese city of Sudon. Image via Getty]

Kreepie Kats raise an issue: is a video comic strip that speaks ill of the recently deceased any less offensive if it's also really blurry? Plus: Ted Kennedy may be in hell, but not for the reason you might think.

Microsoft convenes regular "Screw Google" meetings on Capitol Hill, Daily Finance reports, as part of an effort to tear down rival Google's image. Who would want to help Microsoft do this? The better question is who wouldn't?

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Annie Leibovitz should probably just file for bankruptcy before her $24 million loan to Art Capital comes due. But could she have repaid the loan already, if she'd just sold her damn houses? Bloomberg thinks so!

• Dean Poll, the man behind the Central Park Boathouse, has been awarded the contract to operate Tavern on the Green. The decision by the Parks Department, which takes effect in 2010, takes the restaurant out of the hands of the LeRoy family, who have overseen the landmark since 1976. [NYT, GS]
• Bia Garden, Michael Huynh's latest venture, opens its doors this eve. [Eater]
• Rumor has it the Griffin, the meatpacking nightspot located in the former PM space, may be shutting down after just three months in business. [GoaG]
• Il Bordello on 23rd Street and Tenth Avenue has closed its doors. [Eater]
• The new stadiums for the Mets and Yankees are now selling fresh fruit. [NYT]
• A Q&A with Nick Anderer, the Gramercy Tavern veteran who will be running the kitchen at Danny Meyer's Maialino when it opens in November. [MM]

U.S. Rep Barney Frank is gay, zany, and he says sassy things on TV. He's just like a Bravo reality show personality! But that doesn't mean Andy Cohen had to treat him like one.

The MTA won't be renaming Brooklyn's Hoyt-Schermerhorn subway station after Michael Jackson. City Councilwoman Letitia James first proposed the idea a few weeks back, since the station is where Jackson filmed his "Bad" video in 1987. But the MTA has taken a pass—even though it recently sold off naming rights to another subway station to Barclays for $4 million.

Last night, the sounds coming out of the mouths of the Real Housewives of Atlanta were even more dulcet and beguiling than Kim Zolciak's debut single. There is only one appropriate response to such beauty: poetry.

Oh, look at that: A self-professed fan of blogger Matt Drudge has released iDrudge, an apparently unauthorized iPhone app for reading the Drudge Report. No need to zoom in, like in Mobile Safari. Also: No ads!

Oh look, a student at the University of Florida totally liked Tucker Max's movie. Probably because Tucker has irrefutable photographic evidence that he hooked up with Tim Tebow, right on the football field. A commenter sums up the situation best:

Hey, meet Brian Brown, the executive director of the anti-gay hate group the National Organization for Marriage. He is not like those other anti-gay activists, though, who are making up crazy things. No, he makes up sane-sounding things!

UK kids are always stabbing each other. But now the problem has been solved. With the resurrection of 'Choose Your Own Adventure' stories! On YouTube! About knife safety! Your mission: Sexxx up the underage girl without getting stabbed. Fun below!

There is so little "real news," in August. So you can create your own conspiratorial mythology, like Glenn Beck, or you can just turn literally everything you say into a "that's what she said" joke, like everyone else on TV.

Turn you and your friends into Svedka Party_Bots. Svedka, voted the #1 vodka of 2033.