With Disney's big buy of Marvel, America suddenly finds much of its entire animated universe — from Spider-Man to Pluto — in the hands of one media conglomerate. How many cartoon characters must a company own before the FTC acts?

• Get ready for the Spider-Man ride at Disney World: Walt Disney has agreed to pay $4 billion in cash and stock to acquire Marvel Entertainment. [NYT, WSJ]
• Because she was clearly the very best person for the job, Jenna Bush has signed on with the Today show. The daughter of the former president will be contributing stories "about once a month on issues like education." [THR]
• The Final Destination was No. 1 at the box office this weekend with a $28.3 million take; Inglourious Basterds came in No. 2 with $20 million. [THR]
• Newsstand magazine sales continue to fall. Single-copy sales fell 12 percent during the first half of the 2009 compared to the same period in 2008. [AP]
• NBC's new slogan for its fall marketing campaign? "More colorful." [Variety]

If you're an unemployed fashion/beauty editor and you can't find a job, you officially have one more reason to be depressed about your career prospects today: OK! says Kim Kardashian has joined its staff as a "contributing beauty editor." [OK!]

This Levi's full-page tribute to Teddy Kennedy in the weekend NYT was a little weird, now that you mention it. What's the brand connection? This: Teddy Kennedy always believed Walt Whitman was gay. Levi's®. Click to enlarge. [Copyranter]

In your proper Monday media column: One newspaper attacked by Harry Reid, another newspaper attacked by Blondie, women's magazines that sit at the checkout line unread, and a reporter hurt in Afghanistan.

It is notoriously difficult for business executives to jump into politics. California Senate hopeful Carly Fiorina's Iranian connection provides a textbook illustration of why.

Noted wind victim Carrie "Miss Opposite Marriage" Prejean is suing three Miss California USA officials for firing her because of her religions beliefs, even though that is not actually why they fired her.

Just in time for the end of the summer season, an enterprising Horace Mann student has released a "Hampton Star Map," which features directions to 67 "celebrity homes and hotspots." The fold-out map will run you $7.95. You'll just have to hope his sense of direction is better than his spelling skills. [Hampton Star Map via Curbed Hamptons]

Gawker operative Stephen Kosloff braved the natural habitat of the Grizzly Bear (concert) yesterday to bring you these images and accounts of hipsters in the wild. Don't feed the animals, unless it's Bomb Pops.

Ugh. What a terrible cover. "JACKIE: HER LONELIEST BATTLE," really? Was she furious that Audrina sided with Heidi? Did Brad stop calling her? Oh, but wait! Levi Johnston wrote a piece for the issue? Double really?

The Way We Live Now: With busted cuts. Our haircuts are busted cause we had to cut it ourselves. Our finger cuts are busted from trying to open soup cans. And the mob's cut of our stimulus cash has us...busted.

Last night's episode of Mad Men was like a perfectly-rolled joint: tight, slow burning, and leaving everyone completely satisfied. There wasn't a lack of things harshing our mellow, but here are the five overarching themes of this beautifully constructed hour.

Chairman Bill Gates famously cursed out Microsoft programmers. CEO Steve Ballmer screams and throws chairs. But online chief Qi Lu is as subtle as he is lethal, a corporate terminator who will hunt Google endlessly until it is dead.

Did you know that Ray Kelly, New York's police commissioner, has a weakness for expensive ties such as those made by Charvet? The Times covered this groundbreaking news today:

Sigh, Mike Dukakis. Sigh. The Boston Globe has joined the chorus of Democrats demanding that the Duke be appointed to Ted Kennedy's Senate seat.

The uproar, that is! And the book. But not the weed, as far as I know, because this Crrrrrrazymaking skunk only exists in Cheech & Chong movies and the imaginations of lightweights. (And in England).

No, some inventive real estate developer didn't acquire rights to the name "Melrose Place" to use for his new apartment building. (Although, come to think of it, that may not be such a bad idea.) The ads taped to lampposts—which feature tear-off strips stamped with the address MelrosePlaceApts.com—are just part of a guerrilla marketing campaign by producers of the TV show. But it is refreshing to see a "broker" touting the "hottest property on the market" holding a glass of champagne, isn't it? It's like 2006 all over again. [Public Ad Campaign]

The September Issue debuted in New York over the weekend. So how did it do? Very well, actually: The film grossed a total of $240,078 on six screens, making it the fifth-best documentary debut ever. And you can't say Anna Wintour didn't do her part to support the film: At least ten of those dollars came out of her own pocket.

Just as "but they were a huge jerk" is not a legitimate defense of beating someone to death, "but it produced actionable intelligence" is not a legitimate defense of torture. Not that that actually matters anymore!

Cindy Adams' New York Post columns appear to be produced by a random word-generator machine. Her visage appears to be produced by Botox and shellac. So it is unsurprising to find that she is a Helsmley-level ratdog nut.

Rebecca Mead infiltrated Cindy's aboveground lair in a Park Ave. penthouse and recorded these ramblings about the gossipeuse's Yorkies before being chased out by Cindy's bloodthirsty wolf-celeb hybrid bodyguards: