Poor Families Deserve Pools Too

Ashley Feinberg · 04/07/15 05:08PM

Kansas—the flat, dusty mecca for anyone that loves tornadoes and hates gays—is looking to make life for families on welfare just a little bit worse. Meaning that soon, families could be banned from using public funds on movies, baseball tickets, and pretty much anything falling under the category of "enjoyable."

Welcome to My Homophobic State

Jennifer Maher · 04/07/15 01:45PM

I live in Indiana, ostensibly a place where queer folks cannot get an appropriate florist for their wedding and restaurants have the right not to serve two women eating together if, somehow, they are read as gay. (How will the waitress know, I wonder? If they are holding hands? If they have rainbow flags on their backpacks? If they carry in a copy of The Well of Loneliness to read aloud to each other over bites of a pulled pork sandwich?)

Professor Accidentally Sent "Interesting" Anal Bead Porn to Her Students

Andy Cush · 04/07/15 12:53PM

Who among us is truly innocent? Who among us hasn't pasted a link into an email's compose field, only to realize that it doesn't refer to the really interesting article we'd intended to send, but to an extremely graphic Pornhub video entitled "SHE LOVES HER ANAL BEADS?" Last week, Lisa McElroy, a professor at Drexel University's law school, made a mistake that any of us could have made—a mistake for which she's now being punished.

The Brontosaurus Is Back, Baby

Rich Juzwiak · 04/07/15 11:42AM

Remember how Prince went from being Prince to the Artist Formerly Known as Prince (aka that symbol thing) to the artist formerly known as the Artist Formerly Known as Prince (i.e. back to just Prince)? Same thing just happened to the brontosaurus — brontos are back and they're ready to rock the Super Bowl!

Floridians Won't Stop Drowning Tortoises They're Trying to "Set Free"

Ashley Feinberg · 04/07/15 11:40AM

Gopher tortoises, who enjoy being on land where they're able to maintain such basic functions as breathing and not dying, cannot swim. Which is why Florida would like to ask its residents to stop "helping" the tortoises find their way to the ocean's cold, watery depths.

Banning Chain Stores Is Not a Bad Idea

Hamilton Nolan · 04/07/15 09:41AM

One of the most common laments of anyone who dwelled in a once-cool city is that our nation's urban spaces have become infested with identical chain stores. So what if we just... banned them?

Two Georgia Prison Guards Resign After Photo of Beaten Inmate Leaks

Aleksander Chan · 04/07/15 07:37AM

Two prison guards from Al Burruss Correctional Training Center in Forsyth, Ga. resigned from their positions Monday after a photo of a beaten teenage inmate kneeling on the floor with a makeshift leash tied around his neck spread across Facebook last week.