Floridians Won't Stop Drowning Tortoises They're Trying to "Set Free"
Gopher tortoises, who enjoy being on land where they're able to maintain such basic functions as breathing and not dying, cannot swim. Which is why Florida would like to ask its residents to stop "helping" the tortoises find their way to the ocean's cold, watery depths.
The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission received multiple reports of well-meaning tortoise murders in the past month. Apparently, Floridians have been confusing the tortoises with more water-friendly sea turtles, which have flippers and will not immediately drown upon being dropped into the ocean.
If you yourself are concerned that the turtle you're about to "free" might, in fact, not be a turtle, the FWC recommends that you stop playing god and leave the damn thing alone. [AP]
