You probably assumed that anyone who had the misfortune to entrust their money to Bernie Madoff lost their shirts, right? Not quite. Only about half of his clients lost money when you account for how much cash they withdrew from their accounts during the same time period, say prosecutors. Does this mean prosecutors might now consider cutting Madoff's jail sentence in half? We're guessing the answer is "no," but we thought we'd throw it out there. [NYDN]

• The four-story Soho townhouse that Kate Hudson currently rents (but does not own) is up for sale and now available at a discount. The 4,136-square-foot property located at 43 King Street, which comes with four bedrooms, 3.5 baths, four fireplaces and a private garden in the back, first went on the market in November 2008 for $6.25 million. It now can be yours for $4.95 million. [Real Estalker, Corcoran]
• Publishing entrepreneur Win McCormack has put his apartment at 170 East End Avenue on the market less than a year after he bought it for $8.75 million. The four-bedroom apartment with 1,600-square-foot terrace overlooking Gracie Mansion and the East River is currently listed for $10.5 million. [Curbed, Corcoran]
• Mark Brashear, who heads up Hugo Boss in the US, has paid $3.2 million for a 2,793-square-foot condo at 60 Beach Street in Tribeca. [Real Deal]

In his nearly eight years as mayor, Mike Bloomberg has banned trans fats. He's forced chain restaurants to post calorie counts. Most recently, he took on the soft drink industry with an anti-obesity ad campaign. But when it comes to Bloomberg's own diet, it seems anything goes, according to the Times' Michael Barbaro. The mayor dumps salt on just about everything he eats, including pizza and even Saltine crackers. He has a weakness for all varieties of fast food and likes to snack on Cheez-Its. And you won't find him with a bottle of Poland Spring or Evian in hand. "I can count on two hands the number of times I have seen him drink water," says one of the mayor's regular dining companions. [NYT]

It's a big birthday for Bruce Springsteen. The rock legend turns 60 today. Also celebrating: Jermaine Dupri is turning 37. Singer Julio Iglesias turns 66. Mickey Rooney is 89. Playwright George C. Wolfe is turning 55. Jason Alexander of Seinfeld fame is 50. Hedge fund manager Marc Lasry is turning 50, too. Ani DiFranco turns 39. Writer Joshua Foer is turning 27. Writer/blogger Ana Marie Cox is 37. And Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain turns 24 today.

• Mischa Barton went to see "Tosca" at the Metropolitan Opera the other night. Naturally, when she showed up and saw a red carpet, she started walking it... until she realized it was for the screening of Michael Moore's new documentary at Alice Tully Hall. It was then that the light bulb went on and she ran across the street. Pull it together, woman! [P6]
• Jessica Simpson can't catch a break. Tony Romo ditched her; her dog got snatched by a coyote; her friends keep dishing to the media; and now her ex, Nick Lachey, appears to be reuniting with his ex, Vanessa Minnillo. Poor Jess. [E!]
• Tyra Banks appeared on Larry King Live last night and talked about how she dealt with packing on some lbs (again), her real hair (again), and how she loves being naked (unless the lighting in the dressing room sucks). [CNN, ET]

John Updike's The Witches of Eastwick has been a book, a film, a sequel and people have twice tried — and failed — to make it into a television series. Now ABC has done just that, but is it wise?

Tyra lets it hang out. Paparazzi want to hang Tom and Gisele out for an alleged shooting. And Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr are hanging out with a new baby. Welcome to your Wednesday morning gossip roundup!

Medical marijuana dispensaries are suing LA for a bummer two-year moratorium that they call unconstitutional.

The nubile Emma Watson definitely upstaged old bag Victoria Beckham at Burberry's London fashion show.

Looking to boost your talk show's ratings and prestige? Just book Barack Obama. About 7.2 million people tuned in to watch Obama's chit-chat with David Letterman last night, the sort-of funny man's biggest night in four years.

A record-setting dust storm swept across Sydney yesterday and obscured basically everything, including the famed Opera House, which can sorta be seen here. One visitor described the scene as "like a nuclear winter morning." The beginning of a dystopian day?

Celebrity memoirs often focus on stereotypical subjects, like drug abuse and insecurity. How pedestrian! Thankfully Mackenzie Phillips, a former sitcom star and long-time drug addict, breaks boundaries in her new tome. And they're very unsettling.

So, Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi has come to America to spread his brand of terrifying love. But no one wants to host him. How sad! But, wait, Donald Trump's company has some space and is let him pitch a tent!

Move over Kate Moss, because there's a new coke-snorting model on the scene: Sophie Anderton.

Tom Ford's post-Gucci career goes on. In addition to directing the film adaptation of A Single Man, the designer has been building his eponymous fashion house. But now he needs an extra $50 million to turn dreams into reality. [Reuters]

We've all been concerned about the remake saturation that has plagued Hollywood as of late. Even though America has subconsciously begged for Footloose: Redux, our culture's fascination with all things old borderlines on pathological. Thank goodness, then, for Meghan McCain.

"Donald Trump may have inadvertently rented property in a ritzy New York suburb to loathed Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi, who has spent weeks trying to find a place to pitch his trademark tent while in town for the United Nations General Assembly meeting," ABC News now reports, confirming a previous account that the Libyan leader was planning to spend the week in Bedford. Team Trump claims it rented the property to a bunch of Middle Eastern dudes, but had no idea they had any connection to the Libyan leader. Says a Trump rep: "We have business partners and associates all over the world. The property was leased on a short-term basis to Middle Eastern partners who may or may not have a relationship to Mr. Gaddafi. We are looking into the matter now." Meanwhile, work constructing the tent has been halted by town officials. That's what they're hoping anyway: "Attorney Joel Sachs said officials found workers constructing the tent but could not communicate with them because they didn't speak English. He said they gave the order to stop the work to the property's caretaker." [ABC News, HuffPo]

• Tom Ford is expanding. (Or hoping to, at least.) The designer is reportedly looking to raise $50 million in financing to expand into womenswear. [Reuters]
• Rents along Fifth Avenue have been falling, of course. But the situation appears to be particularly bleak at the empty shopping mall (or "retail collection") at the Plaza Hotel. [Bloomberg, NYP]
• The downside of diffusion: According to a new survey, consumers say luxury products are too accessible these days and have become a commodity. [WWD]

Yesterday we wrote about LuckyFortune, the iPhone app dripping in Chinese caricature. Its inventor has written in to defend that app as inoffensive, uplifting, "light hearted and fun." Chinese Americans told him so!

Justin Timberlake dispensed a lesson in celebrity (retarded) physics, Martha Stewart demonstrated how not to hide your Twitter ghostwriter and Ana Marie Cox is walking around in a haze and think about a 12-step program. The Twitterati bumbled.