If you are really familiar with what the fuck is up then you know that Aaron "A-Ron" Bondaroff is a downtown LES cool guy for hire, founder of the aNYthing brand, and generally, you know, the man with the brand that is downtown, and all that, once upon a time.

The theory that teen girls are suddenly all about vampires because they want to have sex with gay men is interesting. Also, total crap.

A 2001 Mercedes-Benz E320 that used to be the property of Bernie Madoff (before the US Marshals Service came along and confiscated the keys, naturally) is going up for auction on October 23. It's a Ponzi scheme double-header, actually. Also on the block will be the RV that once belonged to imprisoned hedge fund manager/scam artist Samuel Israel and served as his escape vehicle, no less. [Dealbreaker]

Sen. Olympia Snowe (R-Maine) will vote for the Senate Finance Committee's health care reform bill, but only today, and there's no guarantee she'll vote for the same bill tomorrow, because how else will she keep people paying attention to her?

Bloomberg is now reporting that Bloomberg, the media company founded by a man with the last name Bloomberg, has reached a deal to buy BusinessWeek from McGraw-Hill. "BusinessWeek, with its extraordinary context and perspective on the economy and companies, presents a giant opportunity for Bloomberg News to reach decision makers in the most important industries," said Bloomberg's editor-in-chief Matthew Winkler. Added bonus? Although terms of the deal weren't disclosed, it probably wasn't all that expensive either. [Bloomberg]

The Way We Live Now: Doggedly. Are hot dogs the solution to our nation's unemployed ex-con crisis? No, not at all. But it's a thought. Similarly, happy ads won't restore our rotten financial institutions. But they'll make you $$$mile!!!

"Giant Vagina Found on Man's Lawn." FYI, people.

The GOP's brand-spanking-new website calls Jackie Robinson a "GOP Hero." That's true! Also true: baseball's first black player said the 1964 Republican convention gave him an "understanding of how it must have felt to be a Jew in Hitler's Germany."

Proving once again that the fashion industry and France are bastions of racial tolerance and acceptance, the new issue of French Vogue features a photoshoot featuring model Lara Stone in blackface. While we're on the subject of tolerance and acceptance, please note that if you happen to be overweight, Chanel designer Karl Lagerfeld (seen here awkwardly clasping the hand of a black man) most assuredly will not tolerate or accept you. In an interview with the German magazine Focus, the 95-pound former fattie (and notorious rabble-rouser) says that women who criticize runway models for being too thin are just jealous fat-asses who sit on the couch all day eating potato chips. Really. Not that these women should get up off the couch and go outside, mind you. "Nobody wants to see a round woman," he says. [Jezebel, NYDN, Telegraph]

Kim Gordon married Lily and Rufus and it was either the death of cool or the birth of awesome. Now that the heiress and the grunge rocker are joined, what does it mean for the show's power structure?

In your tendentious Tuesday media column: Internet commenters will never be defeated, Pinch Sulzberger is brave, more buyouts at the Star-Ledger, and journalism in China is no easy-peasy thing, we'll tell ya.

Reviewers on Yelp aren't very discerning: They award four or five stars 69 percent of the time (see chart). The local ratings website could combat this by grading on the curve, but would rather force you to click around.

No need to worry about dressing up for Halloween and running the risk that your dog's costume will clash with your own. You can coordinate! Now when you shed your Upper East Side-living, lawyerly image and put on that same slutty French maid costume you always wear one night a year, you can make sure your dog looks just as slutty. Awesome! Between you, your dog, and your investment banker boyfriend wearing the very popular Bernie Madoff mask, you'll be the hit of the party, no doubt. [Buzzfeed]

A Swiss-based oil trader was briefly successful yesterday in preventing a British newspaper's from reporting on public goings-on in Parliament, because those goings-on revealed the company's cover-up of its massive toxic-waste dumping. This is why the First Amendment is good.

Go back to: See the Toxic Dumping Memos an Extremely Stupid Company Tried to Censor in Britain

You thought seeing the occasional white Hummer limo (with blue LED lights on the outside and teenagers from New Jersey on the inside) was an eyesore? Just be thankful that this Russian-made grenade-proof SUV adorned with white gold, diamonds and rubies and upholstered with "whale penis leather" (?) hasn't hit the streets of NYC yet. Although if someone is actually producing such a vehicle—and actually expects to find buyers for it—we're going to look on the bright side and take this as further evidence that the economy really has rebounded. [Luxist]

In the latest edition of the Gawker Book Club, we have Stephen Elliott discussing his murder potboiler-cum-memoir The Adderall Diaries with special guest interviewer Gawker special correspondent James Frey. They'll be dropping in comments around 12:30pm. Why not join in?

Chicken wings are cheap, tasty, and more popular than ever. How popular? They're the most expensive part of the bird, these days. The real victim here: The once-beloved breast.

It's a day to bring back the old in Hollywood: last week's TV shows, yesterday's stores and TV stars from a decade ago are lining up for their reboots. If they can make Batman fresh, why not Chandler?

You know that Mike Bloomberg is running for a third term next month, of course. And you may even be familiar with the Democrat running against him, Bill Thompson. (If you haven't had a chance to familiarize yourself with Thompson's platform, you can watch him go up against Bloomberg in a debate this evening.) But are you familiar with the seven other people who will be on the ballot this November?