When a federal judge revoked Bernie Kerik's bail on Tuesday and decided to send NYC's former police commissioner to jail while he awaits trial on corruption charges, he said Kerik had acted as if he were "different from other people." That wasn't the way he behaved when he got to the jailhouse and said he didn't want to be separated from the rest of the prison population for his own safety. Because, you know, he's a tough guy, and can deal with anything that comes his way, clearly. Kerik didn't get his wish, unfortunately, and he was placed him in a segregated wing. Let's all just hope he was happier with outfit that prison officials picked out for him (an orange jumpsuit), and the meal they served him for dinner (meat loaf, corn and sliced potato skins). [NYT, NYP]

Mitch Winehouse thinks Amy's rack was worth the rumored $56,000 cost of silicone. Salman Rushdie scores another PYT. Obama Girl is mauled by a light fixture at that one ubiquitous press junket in Jamaica. Welcome to Thursday's gossip!

Howard Hughes' failure to procreate, plus his crappy taste in real estate, has resulted in a small town's worth of wannabe heirs, all of whom will receive virtually nothing when they sell Howard's last swath of land next year.

They successfully did it on a rabbit, and should be able to work their way up to humans in two years. The wombs will come from dead people.

It feels like years since we saw our first inkjet printing of Kanye West taped to the office refrigerator alongside either our favorite 80s cartoon character or freshest dead celebrity.

So, that horrifying sweat lodge where Oprah-endorsed guru James Arthur Ray may or may not have inadvertently killed three people? NYT has some new eye witness reports, and they're as scary, icky, and infuriatingly New-Agey as you thought.

Tonight's South Park utilizes the soap operatics of professional wrestling to explain why Cartman is dressing up like Milton Berle on Saturday night confessing his latest addictions. The team of Parker and Stone prove once again rednecks are still funny.

MySpace now says it is no longer competing with Facebook, the rival social network with far more users. No, now MySpace will focus on the niche of music and digital entertainment. And compete with Apple and Google.

Erin Wagner broke down tonight. She started off strong and sure of herself, but when it was time to prove herself worthy of a Covergirl commercial campaign she buckled, failed, and played the pity card by weeping openly.

You know that conflict I had after reading the post Toby Young wrote for Gawker? When I was forced to consider the possibility that he could become charming and likeable, rather than just an unfunny stooge? Well, it's over.

It's so fun to see the media wars play out in actual tiffs between actual human beings in actual rooms together. Take this passive-aggressive clash between Google's Larry Page, programmer, and IAC's Barry Diller, onetime movie mogul.

• The week in restaurant reviews: In his second outing as Times dining critic, Sam Sifton gives Marea a very enthusiastic three stars; New York magazine's Adam Platt is a bit disappointed by Joseph Leonard and Civetta (and gives each a single star); Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton checks out the Manhattan outpost of Motorino and leaves happy; Time Out's Jay Cheshes heads to Monkey Bar and finds the food has improved; and Gael Greene pays a visit Abe & Arthur's.
• The city is now suing the LeRoy family, the current operators of Tavern on the Green, in an effort to regain control over the restaurant's name. [Crain's]
• Openings: Brinkley's, the new restaurant by Tom and Anthony Martignetti in the former Bar Martignetti space, opens to the public next week. The Scottish restaurant Highlands opens in the West Village this Friday.

According to American popular intellectual Glenn Beck, "Net Neutrality" is a Marxist plot to control content, on the internet, by which he means that the jackbooted Obama storm troopers want to take away your World Net Daily.

Mike Albo's free trip to Jamaica violated the newspaper's freelancer guidelines, or at least the ones we've seen. And now the Times has reversed its defense of the trip, saying it has "concerns."

Last week he beat out the much-heralded return of KISS for the top slot on the album charts. This week, the Canadian crooner Michael Buble slam-dunked the biggest phenomenon in all entertainment: the Twilight series.

[A New Yorker counts sheep in Sheep's Meadow in Central Park today during a rather warm fall afternoon. Image via Getty]

Everybody's having fun with Robert Mormando, the gay mafia hitman the world learned about today. It's like The Sopranos! Except he only meant to come out in front of the judge, not a bunch of newspaper reporters.

describing his approach to producing films and raising financing for movies like Cannes darling Precious, in an entertaining profile by Lynn Hirschberg that will run in this Sunday's New York Times Magazine.

That's right, the guys who haul pianos and music stands at Carnegie Hall are raking in the big bucks. Just how much? It's more than you could even imagine.