Baltimore residents have been protesting for Freddie Gray—the 25-year-old black man whose spine was severed in police custody earlier this month—under the theory that excessive force was involved in his death. But according to a new “report” that surfaced today and started popping up on everyone’s racist uncle’s Facebook feed, Gray had a pre-existing spinal condition that may have contributed to his death. There’s just one problem: this is total bullshit.

North Dakota. The great expanse. Sounds romantic, in that sun setting over a bison grazing on the prairie, Americana sort of way. Great place to visit; not such a great place to work—North Dakota is also full of oil and gas that ain’t gonna extract itself.

Peter Cronkite, the 22-year-old grandson of the late, great TV newsman Walter Cronkite, was found dead in a dorm building at his college over the weekend. He took his own life.

While protests continued today throughout Baltimore, a police spokesman announced this afternoon that no arrests have been made since last night.

During a radio interview yesterday, Senator Rand Paul weighed in on the ongoing unrest in Baltimore. “I came through the train on Baltimore last night,” the Kentucky Republican and 2016 presidential candidate told conservative radio host Laura Ingraham. Chuckling, he added, “I’m glad the train didn’t stop.” There’s just one problem with Sen. Paul’s account: Every train traveling through Baltimore that night stopped at Baltimore’s Pennsylvania Station.

CNN’s Ashleigh Banfield checked in Wednesday afternoon with Baltimore Councilman Carl Stokes for his take on the root causes of the protest going on in the city this week. But before she got to that, she took a minute to chastise Stokes for using “that word” in an interview the night before.

There is a crisis at Princeton University. This Sunday, the rapper Big Sean is scheduled to perform at one of those school events where bored underclassmen gather to watch a semi-famous musician they don’t actually like that much. This bit of the college experience should be numbingly routine, but instead it’s making a bunch of people at the school lose their minds.

According to a report leaked by a (now suspended) United Nations aid worker, French peacekeeping troops in the Central African Republic have been accused of raping and sodomizing the same “starving and homeless young boys” they were supposed to have been protecting.

It’s often said that you can’t pick your family, and the 2015 corollary is “and you can’t pick the insane bullshit they post on Facebook.” Like your idiot cousin’s receipt for $71 from Joe’s Crab Shack with the hilarious joke “find sour cream” scrawled in the tip line.

“You here for the fight?” said my cab driver, who looked like a less successful Guy Fieri. “I used to work for referee Jay Nady, the highest grossing boxing referee of all time.” He gestured out the window at a stoplight. “See that cab? That’s Jay Nady’s cab company right there. The ones with the ‘A.’ The ‘A’ is for asshole. Fuck that guy.”

Baltimore City Paper writer Caitlin Goldblatt and Buzzfeed News report that many of the 235 protesters arrested Monday night—including 34 juveniles— in Baltimore remain in jail without formal charges nearly two days later.

Jerome Robinson only got to live in the home of his dreams for five years before he was told to leave.

Fifty-two-year-old Michael Kneitel is a man of principle. He will not rest until the $75 ticket he received for using the door between subway cars to escape a pissing passenger is overturned.

Yesterday, police arrested a woman who allegedly set a car on fire at a Jerusalem gas station after she was reportedly refused a cigarette. Security footage from the station shows the woman talking to a man pumping gas. After apparently asking him a question—several Israeli news outlets report she asked for a cigarette—she walks away, pauses, and walks back to set the man’s car ablaze.

You shouldn’t expect much when you’re checking into a room at the local Motel 6, but at a bare minimum, you should expect to not be treated like a criminal. Guests at the motel chain’s Rhode Island location won’t get that luxury: their information is automatically delivered to the police.

Piss beer overlords Anheuser-Busch InBev have removed a rape culture tagline from their beer bottles after the web collectively erupted over it Tuesday afternoon.

After losing her legs in a tragic rat attack, a Welsh tortoise was transformed into a living math book doodle this month thanks to a set of prosthetic wheels that are fly as hell, the BBC dopely reports.

A shooting near a demonstration in Ferguson, Missouri Tuesday night was followed by additional gunshots hours later and reports on social media of a man shot in the neck.

Saudi Arabia’s King Salman is making some bold moves to consolidate his power, the New York Times reports: one prince got the royal bump, another prince just got bumped out, and the first member of a new generation is priming to take over.

On Tuesday, the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department agreed to a $725,000 settlement with the Justice Department, the result of a two-year investigation that found systematic civil rights abuses against minorities living in Antelope Valley, the Los Angeles Daily News reports.