[This elf, found on 88th Street and Second Ave, may not be murdered. He might have just taken one too many of Santa's little helpers. Image by Jillian Babcock]

Everybody's Fine is out! Who's psyched, guys? America is psyched, that is who. Also: this week was about love. The bad kinds of love, with golf clubs and such.

Washington, D.C., is 56% African-American and one of the epicenters of hip-hop culture. The Washington Post newsroom, it's safe to say, is not.

The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation was trying to say "ABC sucks for banning Adam Lambert." They are so mealy-mouthed and non-commital that it took them three, yes three, press releases to say just that. Get a grip, GLAAD.

After John Carney issued his annual holiday list of girls to avoid, blogger and editor Melissa Lafsky offered up her response: a catalog of guys that women must avoid at all costs. This originally appeared on her blog Opinionista.

When he's not covering Wall Street for Clusterstock or opining for provacative trend stories, John Carney likes to catalog the kind of ladies guys should not date. Melissa Lafsky has issued a riposte.

What are you watching tonight? Let us know in the comments.

In this week's weekly video wrap-up The Resident highlights Siskel & Ebert's hatred for each other, cute hamsters playing instruments, skateboard ballet, and more!

Bill Dance has a TV show about fishing. Bill also messes up in more ways than you can imagine. But Bill's failures aren't going to waste, because they are THOROUGHLY entertaining.

Jim Behrle's Kreepie Kats have terribly helpful advice, today! Make sure to scare the televangelist you are cheating on your wife with, future Tiger Woodses.

Jersey Shore, if you didn't know, is the most amazing reality show every created. Jersey shore, the real place, thinks it's horrible. Why are you fighting it, Jersey Shore? Embrace your inner guido. It will save your souls.

The Chicago Tribune is reporting that computer equipment containing audio files of wiretapped conversations has been stolen from the office Rod Blagojevich's defense attorney.

This story has it all. Nazi conspiracies, international intrigue, and twins. Just like those Coors Light commercials—but with more ethnic cleansing.

Eric Schmidt suggests you alter your scandalous behavior before you complain about his company invading your privacy. That's what the Google CEO told Maria Bartiromo during CNBC's big Google special last night, an extraordinary pronouncement for such a secretive guy.

"Republican Facebook Racism" is such old hat these days, that we barely noticed the crazy Tennessee mayor dude. And that is itself kind of a problem! Look how many fans this wonderful bigot has!

Catholic lady Joanna Krupa's pose in this new PETA ad (click to enlarge) has the Catholic League's Crazy Bill Donohue upset, but you know who looks like they really like it? The dogs, and that's the point. [Adfreak]

A local news report on a mysterious leprechaun siting near Mobile, Alabama. More incredible than any real leprechaun, the footage itself is worth more than any pot of gold.

Yesterday we told you about Time Inc.'s freelancer scam—the company will pay you quickly, but it'll cost you up to 4%. Today, another tipster has clued us in to NBC Universal's version, which is even worse.

The FBI is investigating possible insider trading at hedge fund SAC Capital, but the most outrageous thing to emerge from the case are allegations of how a perverse SAC manager tried to literally turn a trader into his literal bitch.

Congratulations to Nari for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.