The Washington Post, as we all know, has the worst opinion section in America. The people who run it don't understand all the fuss about them running an op-ed by Sarah Palin on climate change!

Here is how you marry Patty and Selma's obsession with MacGyver and Crazy Cat Lady's obsession with cats. Without further ado, we give you: MacGyver Cat.

The Way We Live Now: Old, broke, uneducated, and wishing we were in China. They have it good, over there. The Chinese. Arrrrgh.

Four former waitresses who worked at Café Habana on Prince Street have filed a labor lawsuit against the restaurant and its owners. In addition to claiming they were illegally forced to share tips and denied overtime pay, the four also say they were "subjected to a heavily sexually charged environment in which they were required to dress in a sexually provocative manner, asked to take pictures scantily clad, and subject to degrading sexual harassment." One particularly degrading act that one of the four says Café Habana's owners demanded of her? They told her to sleep with Owen Wilson, a "good customer" of the restaurant who had asked the waitress out previously, but had been turned down:

We all got a kick out of the arrest of the Missouri GOP ex-pol for roughing up a sex partner because she forgot the safeword: "Green balloons." The police report is out, and it looks like a straight-up, horrific rape.

American Express evacuated employees on three floors of its World Financial Center headquarters this afternoon after envelopes containing a "white powdery substance" were discovered. Several similarly suspicious packages were also sent to Bank of America's offices in Tampa. [NBC, Business Insider]

For us, the viewing public, Jersey Shore is the Platonic ideal of train-wreck television, but for MTV, the network that's trying to profit from it, the show is looking like more of a disaster with paltry ratings and advertiser headaches.

Democratic Senator Kent Conrad has a brilliant plan to take on the massive federal deficit. It involves a "task force," of course. But not just any task force: he has envisioned a task force of unimaginable uselessness.

The NYPD shot and killed a CD vendor in Times Square this morning who was not only scamming tourists, but also packing a Mac-10, for chrissake. The reaction of tourists: Awesome!

Google's hiring process is supposed to be a utopian system for identifying superhuman staff. Yet it needs a surprising amount of correcting. And we're trying to figure out if this "stage 2" interview test also needs fixing.

Goldmas Sachs is bending over backwards to make sure you don't rise up and hoist the black flag next month, when it pays out more than $17 billion in taxpayer-financed bonuses—now its top leaders won't get any cash.

World stand-up comedy today was greeted with news that should make the hard-working comedians of the world very nervous. Pauly Shore is now one lawsuit away getting his fingers on the trigger of Hollywood's most celebrated venue, the Comedy Store.

Among the celebrity weeklies' many scientific contributions, none is more entertaining than the "body language expert" who can divine deep interpersonal details from one single photograph. Let's apply this rigorous method to New York City's romantic royalty.

Everyone's favorite perverted billionaire is back in the news! Jeffrey Epstein pleaded guilty to soliciting underage girls for sex in 2007, served about a year in prison, and was released in July. But the women (girls?) he allegedly got kinky with continue to have civil lawsuits pending against the shadowy money manager, and now things have gotten a touch complicated because the lawyer representing several of his victims is/was Scott Rothstein, the Florida lawyer who currently stands accused of leading a $1.2 billion Ponzi scheme in his spare time.

There are a lot of things to get upset over in life. Video games are not one of them. Here are the ten best video game freak outs on the web.

In your frigid Thursday media column: Editorial turnover at Ad Age, Mediaite invites people more famous and attractive than you to their soiree, journalists prepare to forage, and Sarah Palin's only a few steps from the 99-cent store.

Barbara Walters' 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009 aired last night on ABC, and no guest, no matter how newsworthy, was safe from Bab's dizzying turns during each interview's introduction. Maybe she just wants in on the hero worship.

We give this diver a 0 for grace, but a 9.5 for amusement factor and schadenfreude!

Unemployed and struggling to make ends? Maybe you should consider blackmailing someone! Thanks to the recession, blackmail is back in a big way. And you don't need to target a celebrity to do it! [WSJ]

Now that we've met our new friend, how will we survive without it? It will be a long, cold winter until April 13 when Glee returns, but there was plenty to keep us warm in the great show choir showdown.