Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Hope you don't rely on the W or Z trains to get to work. As part of the MTA's effort to make up for the $400 million gap in its budget, it's proposing eliminating both those lines, as well as reducing subway service at off-peak hours, eliminating discounts for the disabled, and ripping the free bus passes that are given to city schoolchildren out of their tiny hands. [NYT]

Last week, Bank of America paid back the $45 billion it borrowed from the U.S. government last year. That left Citigroup the only big bank still under the watchful eye of Washington, and the only one still required to comply with limits on executive compensation. Citi CEO Vikram Pandit wasn't going to let that situation continue, was he? No, he was not. Following a "frenzied effort" over the past few days, Citigroup announced this morning that it will be paying back the $20 billion it received in bailout funds:

The story that Accenture has abandoned its lead pitch-man dominates the tabloids, and also appears in the New Yorker. Perhaps Tiger will now empathize with all the other recession stories in the papers today.

• Remember last week when Lindsay Lohan announced that she'd "saved" a bunch of kids in India from becoming victims of child trafficking? Yea, well, it seems she wasn't even in the country yet when that happened, at least according to according to a leading social activist in New Delhi, who has since filed a complaint with the BBC, which was filming Lohan's efforts for a documentary. In any event, LiLo must be totally, like, spent from saving the world: She returned to the U.S over the weekend after spending less than a week there. [Telegraph, People]
• In other LiLo news, the Lohan family website is now selling some of her secondhand clothes. If you'd like to buy Lindsay's hideous wardrobe from back in her Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen days, you're in luck. [P6]
• The New York Post has added an esteemed new columnist to its roster! Ashley Dupre is the paper's new love, sex, and relationship columnist. In her first column, Dupre answers questions about a rebellious teen, how to tell if one's husband is unhappy, whether or not to share your "number," and also offers up some Christmas gift ideas. There's even a video to go with it in which Dupre is dressed up like a naughty schoolgirl. [NYP]

Kids no longer ask Santa for toys. This year they just want socks and eyeglasses.

Joe Lieberman really is the most appalling human being. All he cares about is that people look at him and that he gets to feel important. Which is why he's jeopardizing healthcare reform again with a last-minute threat.

Hedge fund titan John Paulson is turning 54 today. Former Hollywood titan Michael Ovitz is turning 63. Tween queen Vanessa Hudgens turns 21. Novelist Benjamin Kunkel turns 37. Cliff Richards, the AC/DC bassist (and father of MTV's Erin Lucas), is 60. Writer Stanley Crouch turns 64. Child actress Patty Duke is 63. Aussie model/actress Sophie Monk is 30. Social fixture Eleanor Ylvisaker is 33. And Jane Birkin, the actress and singer who also inspired the Hermès bag by the same name, turns 63 today.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can get a completely unexpected $10 billion bailout from Abu Dhabi.

LiLo lied about saving those kids in India, almost as embarrassing as Dina Lohan truly out-leeching herself. Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel are in Palm Beach, separately. Michelle Rodriguez talks vaginas and lesbian sex tapes. Monday gossip, locked and loaded.

We have got hold of some of the original memos that L. Ron Hubbard passed down in the early days of Scientology — they are still revered today as a foundation for the cult. Today: L. Ron on sex!

Lynne Torgerson—who is running against Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN), a popular, well-respected U.S. Congressman—wants to stop the "globalization of Islam" and "Ellison [who] is a Muslim." She cites 9/11, Fort Hood, and the book Muslim Mafia as evidence.

A Yale freshman who called himself the Dauphin is believed to have terrorized his peers with death threats, ritualistic vandalism, and a hit and run accident. Among his rumored loot: Secret society video footage, which has since surfaced on YouTube.

What's your favorite ancient Norse saga? (And don't say Hervarar saga ok Heiðreks—everyone says that!) Well, make room in your heart for the new Mel Gibson-directed viking film starring Leonardo DiCaprio. It should be epic.

Tonight, ABC aired Oprah's special, Christmas at the White House, in which the Queen of Daytime visited the Obamas and toured the decked out residence. And aside from baby talk and a Michelle shut down, it was so, so boring.

Proof that nothing happened this weekend: A recipe for healthy buttermilk blueberry pancakes has been the most-emailed Times article for like two days. So, we present the first-ever Gawker Recipe for Disaster: The Whiskey Scramble:

Dating in New York can seem like rolling a pair of dice directly into a venomous snake's mouth. In fact, the easiest way to find a significant other in this city is probably surviving a plane crash with them.

The Geminid meteor shower is like the American Music Awards of meteor showers: We're vaguely aware it's happening, but nobody gives a shit unless it's accompanied by a Adam Lambert facehumping. However, it peaks tonight! Go outside and look! [NatGeo]

Shiloh Peppin was one of only three people in the world living with Mermaid Syndrome when she died on October 23 at age 10. Tonight, TLC aired Mermaid Girl: The Last Six Months, and the world said farewell to Shiloh.

Patton Oswalt should be given a plaque for not falling into the common pitfalls of marginally talented comedians. Where Jeff Dunham stops, he starts. Don't understand? Watch this classic bit about his fears of marriage coming from a cookie commercial.