Photo: Flickr/valeriob

The NY Daily News was shocked that its competitor would stoop to having Spitzer hooker Ashley Dupre as an advice columnist. But Cityfile points out the Daily News itself is cozy with Spitzer madam Kristin Davis. Madams are classier, though.

Initially banned, here is the original video for Sophie B. Hawkins' debut single, Damn! I Wish I Was Your Lover. What the censors didn't want you to see: Sophie's infantile regression; drawing on walls and wearing a diaper.

• The e-reader war rages on: If you want to read the Post on your Kindle on the way to work, you're out of luck; you'll have to buy a Sony Reader. [NYT, AFP]
• Project Runway will return to NYC (and Lifetime) for its 7th season. [NYDN]
• Budget Travel isn't shutting down, contrary to the rumors awhile back. But it does have a new owner now that Newsweek has sold it to a financial firm. [AP]
• Job cuts at the Times in the last two days have claimed 18 people. [AP]
• American Idol creator Simon Fuller is launching an online talent show. [NYT]
• Diane Sawyer's GMA debut next week is going to be "low-key." [USAT]
• It looks like Fox News will close out 2009 with its highest ratings ever. [B&C]
• Ashton Kutcher is bringing The Beautiful Life back. On YouTube. [NYT]
• The 16th annual SAG Award nominations were announced today. [LAT]
• Nancy O'Dell is quitting Access Hollywood. Why? Because the show is getting too sensational and she's a "nice and classy girl." But you knew that. [People]

Today at Gawker.TV, Joy Behar interviews her SNL-impersonator, Snoop Dogg promotes his new GPS system, Steven Seagall's TV show effectively displays his insanity, bizarro Andy Kaufman sings with sheep, and a drunken 4-year-old ruins Christmas for all of his neighbors.

Congratulations to questionmarkman0 for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

The Way We Live Now: Like cheap, cheap bastards. Let's be honest. We can't afford to waste words. If we had to sum up "the new consumer" in three words, those words would be: cheap, cheap bastards.

After three relentless weeks, the Tiger Woods scandal looks infinite. (The disgraces continue as we speak.) That's hardly because Woods' philandering was unprecedented. No, it was just perfect for internet exploitation.

Beginning in January, the Museum of Modern Art will morph into a club—with DJs spinning house music, "specialty cocktails," a $20 cover, and everything—on the first Thursday of each month. Please mind the artwork, clubgoers. Oh, and come early: This new nightspot is only open till 8:45pm. [NewYorkology]

It's the time of the year when hotly-anticipated prestige pictures clog our tiny art house theaters. I'm laying down some ground rules about movie theater seat saving, because I'm sick of having the film ruined by you assholes.

Were you aware that Sex and the City slot machines are coming soon to Las Vegas' classiest casinos? They are. (And they pump out lines from the show—like "Hello, lover!"—every time someone hits a jackpot. Cool!) Chris Noth made a personal appearance in Sin City a couple of weeks ago to unveil the new machines. The speech he gave in honor of the momentous occasion appears after the jump for your viewing pleasure.

Ever wonder what would Friends look like if the laugh track were taken away. Well now we know— and the result is a splendid mix of awkward and weird.

In your law-abiding Thursday media column: Martha Stewart shows kids how to do drugs, Mike Bloomberg explains the "new media," predictions for 2010, and Budget Travel is sold.

He may be tops with the teabaggers but the professional maniac's is at the bottom of the real estate market. He paid $4.2 million for the New Canaan, Connecticut, estate in 2005. But he's now willing to sell at $3.9 million.

Today's fail brings us a slam dunk-turned-pratfall. So much for those NBA dreams.

When Steve Madden introduced its horrific Multi-Color Bukled Heel last year, it was pretty clear where inspiration for the shoe had come from: Balenciaga's equally unattractive Closed Front Cage Sandals With Ankle Pads, which were part of its Fall '07 line, cost $4,175 and graced the feet of Beyoncé. "Steve Madden has gone too far this time," wrote one fashion blogger galled by the obvious copy. It seems Balenciaga was thinking the same thing! On Monday, it slapped Steve Madden with a lawsuit. The court documents are below.

Just when you thought Estonia Poland couldn't get any wackier...think again. From the moment the video opens with a lone sheep and "rage" on the screen, you know you're in for a treat. Someone finally topped the Mighty Mouse performance.

We are trying to bring down Seed, the AOL News Borg created to destroy editorial on the internet, one poem at a time. Today the machine asks, "What Does It Mean to Square Something?" We try to answer.

In this never-aired, extended secret scene from 24, Jack Bauer interrogates the most jolly terrorist of them all: Santa.

Worlds collided on last night's Joy Behar Show when Joy invited on Fred Armisen, her SNL impersonator. During the awkward interview, Joy berated her doppelgänger for his age and ethnic identity, exclaiming a few "So what?! Who cares?!" for fun.