First of all, this is a snowmobile, not a snow plow. Second, snow plows aren't called such because you plow into anything. Although that is funny to watch.

Whether or not Susan Sarandon is hooking up with 31 year-old Ping Pong boy Jonathan Bricklin, she's clearly OK with the image of a cradle-robbing cougar. Remember that SNL spoof Mothers Day music video, "Motherlover?"

First someone pulled a gun during a snowball fight in DC. Now, in Wales of all places, a 20-year-old man was stabbed to death with a kitchen knife after another one, apparently, got out of hand.

A few years from now, someone will mention the name "Rachel Uchitel" in passing, and you'll have to rack your brain for a few minutes before it occurs to you that the person is referring to one of the women who helped bring about Tiger Woods' downfall. (Remember Jessica Hahn? How about Donna Rice?)

Late December means two things—it's Christmas and television is BORING. Steven Seagal: Lawman—one of the only new episodes on TV last night—had a chance to capture the attention of a nation wrought with ennui—It didn't.

Christmastime is—of course—a time for volleyball, doing the shake with your best gal, and wackiness on the beach! Or is that just how they do it in Canada? Here's a holiday concept you've probably never bothered thinking of.

Daichi is here to brighten our Christmas with the best gift of all... the gift of beatboxing (and for the sake of this post, beatboxing is the best gift of all.) It's official, Daichi is the Asian Razel.

Why was Bernie Madoff admitted to a prison hospital late last week? It isn't because he's dying of cancer. And it isn't because he was assaulted in prison, as ABC News reported this morning. (The story, which the local ABC affiliate has since revised twice, first suggested Madoff had suffered "facial fractures, broken ribs and a collapsed lung" in an incident "consistent with an assault." Then they said he fell off a bed and "a lot of facial bleeding" followed.) Now it turns out he was hospitalized for an altogether less dramatic reason: According to the Bureau of Prisons, it was "due to dizziness and high blood pressure." [WSJ, NYP]

Whether you're wrapping a bicycle or a six pack of beer, wrapping paper is a ton of fun. What better way to get your friend into the Holiday spirit than making his whole apartment a present?

ABC is reporting that Bernie may have been given a savage holiday beating — in which he sustained injuries so serious he had to be hospitalized.

For some, visiting the family for the holidays is fun. For the rest of us, it's a grueling ordeal, a test of endurance. However, I am surprised that "booze" isn't the solution here. Live and learn, I guess.

Chocolate Rain was good—45 million views on YouTube good—but Tay Finally comes to the realization that he should have been singing "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" all along.

Nevada Senator Harry Reid has been pulling a few too many all-nighters trying to push the health care bill through the senate. When it came time to vote for Reid to vote on his own baby, he accidentally said "no."

So Kevin Smith strikes gold with one good black and white comedy in the early 90's, and now the moviegoing public must pay for it for the next 20 years. Cop Out is just his most recent must miss.

Remember when the Ninja Turtles had Jamaican accents? We don't either, but the truth is indeed out there. Here are the mutated teenagers looking as though they have a stifling meth addiction or an overdose of some Joker Brand X.

Adorable little dogs "singing" along to a medley of Christmas tunes? We'll take it!

This girl lets out blood curdling scream when she sees her shiny new bike.

The holidays are a time for hope, and drinking to excess. Both promote a rosy view of the world. Which might explain all the most-wonderful-time-of-the-year-type stories that abound today. Perfect if you're about to kill a relative/airline representative.

Lindsay Lohan eating dinner last night at Cipriani Downtown with a group of friends (one of whom was hotelier Jason Pomeranc, left) ... Reese Witherspoon taking in "a business lunch with friends" at Cookshop on Tenth Avenue ... Jessica Simpson shopping with her mom ... American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi carrying gifts in Midtown ... Alexa Ray Joel posing for a pic outside The American Hotel in Sag Harbor alongside her mom, Christie Brinkley, and grandmother ... Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard wearing hard hats for Tuesday's dedication ceremony for the Signature Theatre Company's new Signature Center ... Catherine Zeta-Jones arriving at the Walter Kerr Theater on West 48th Street ... and Sarah Jessica Parker walking with Matthew Broderick in the West Village yesterday.

However your holidays are going, be grateful you're (probably) not under attack by peacocks.