As long as water can still freeze on Planet Earth, global warming is a hoax.

Most of us saw the photos of Michael Cera hanging out with the cast of Jersey Shore, but what we didn't know—until now— was that he actually spent some time with them. In the hot tub.

On Launch My Line last night, hosts Dan and Dean Caten challenged the contestants to create avant-garde designs that still reflected their individual styles. Then, Lady Gaga, the reigning queen of pop weirdness, stopped by to offer herself as inspiration.

"Nescafé has found an avid market [in Singapore] for coffee with collagen, a protein found in connective tissues, on the theory that ingesting it will improve skin." Which is false. Also: eww, gross, throwup. [NYT. Pic via]

If you were self-obsessed enough to launch a website about yourself, and then had someone obsessed enough with you to launch their own website based entirely on you, would you be flattered or creeped-out? Julia Allison faces such a predicament.

Face it, cookies are the best. But what are you supposed to do during the warm weather months when it's too hot to use the oven? Use a car's dashboard and let the sun do all the work!

Arpad "Arki" Busson sneaking out of ex-fiancée Uma Thurman's Village townhouse yesterday, shortly before Thurman made her exit as well ... Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie running errands in Midtown during the day and heading into Alto on Madison Avenue for dinner ... Catherine Zeta-Jones leaving her apartment building ... Kelly Ripa getting in a cab with her son ... Kathy Griffin shooting scenes for Law & Order: SVU with Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay ... Jessica Szohr walking to the set of Gossip Girl at Silvercup Studios in Queens ... Jessica and Ashlee Simpson going to dinner last night ... Katharine McPhee arriving at her hotel ... and Jersey Shore's Snooki and J-Woww posing for pics in the Flatiron District.

After an unbearably long break (five days!), Andrea Peyser is back to journalism! Peyser on America's job woes: "We all should be celebrity sloths like Paris Hilton. Or one of Tiger's well-paid bimbos." Well, she's still a little rusty. [NYP]

This dog hates baths so much that the mention of the word sends him scurrying out of the room.

Love played a New Year's Eve show at The Standard, a publicity-loving nude display case in the Meatpacking District. This, apparently, is video of her "rehearsing." If you care about anything at all, watching this video will make your stomach bleed. At the end, an assistant comes in to ask, "Do you need anything else from a pharmacy right now other than the prescriptions?"

The only thing technology is good for is getting us laid. Just ask this cheating tweeter or another double-dipping actor. It can't help this marriage-minded celeb, though. Or a pill popping pop singer. Welcome to the future.

Wesleyan, an annoying school populated by rapping sex magazine columnists, is suing its former C.I.O. for illegally using his post at the school to help his fledgling hedge fund. Why was Wesleyan employing a square in the first place? [Dealbook]

Remember Avon Barksdale from The Wire? He was west Baltimore's drug kingpin, played by Wood Harris. He was not to be messed with, because he would have your ass killed. Well this is his real story, shorty.

This little baby got stuck between some furniture and the wall and can't quite seem to get out.

• The townhouse once occupied by Luke and Julie Janklow has finally found a buyer. The divorcing couple put the home located at 16 West 12th Street on the market nearly a year ago for $24.975 million. Now real estate developer Ara Hovnanian and his wife Rachel, who sold their sprawling co-op at 820 Fifth Avenue late last year, have reportedly closed on a deal to purchase the 25-foot-wide home. The manse had been listed most recently for $17.95 million. [NYP, BHS, previously]
• Bankrupt gallery owner Larry Salander has cut $1 million off the price of his townhouse at 63 East 82nd Street. The 9,200-square-foot manse, which the alleged art swindler bought for $4.75 million in 2004, was originally listed for $25 million before it was was dropped down to $15.995 last April. It's now listed for the bargain basement price of $14.995 million. [Cityfile, LJG]
• Two neighboring units at the Time Warner Center have come on the market for a combined $57.5 million. Psychic company founder Steven Feder has put his four-bedroom, 75th-floor apartment on the market for $34.95 million (or $10.47 million more than what he paid for it in 2008). Meanwhile, his downstairs neighbor, venture capitalist Doug Von Allmen, his duplex pad on the market for $18.45 million. The apartments can be purchased separately. Or you can combine 'em for a $4.1 million premium. [NYP]

First PETA used Michelle Obama in an unauthorized ad; now, Weatherproof has plastered Barack's face on a billboard just because he wore their coat once. What's next, telling you the Obamas read our blog daily? No, we respect their privacy.

[Brad and Angelina (we don't need their last names at this point, right?) leave a New York City restaurant last night and are assaulted by light and noise; image via INF]

That was quick. Yesterday, the Times revealed that stores like H&M destroyed unsold merchandise rather than give it to the needy. Now the Swedish retailer says it plans to make sure it doesn't happen again, since it isn't the company's "standard practice." [NYT, previously]

BusinessWeek has been absorbed into the Bloomberg mothership. Now, shouty Bloomberg standards enforcer Matthew Winkler is gently teaching the new guys how to do "journalism." A tipster forwarded us this lecturey item from Winkler's year-end "Weekly notes" memo, below.