Goldman Sachs is hoping to redeem its damaged reputation by giving away bundles of cash to charity. What happens when one of the world's most profitable companies announces that the checkbook is open and the pen is in hand? Non-profit groups come calling, obviously.

Everyone is familiar with Morgan Freeman's soothing, authoritative voice. That's why Colbert had Freeman read blatantly untrue statements in his most trustworthy voice. One of those statements? That Conan could keep his 11:30 time slot. Ha!

In a recent episode, a transcribing error in a company-wide memo demands that all employees must use offensive language. To film these scenes, the cast got creative with their dirty insults. Their result was pure, hilarious filth. [NSFW]

In a shameful act of discrimination against differently-aged fucking, Carnival Cruise Lines says it won't allow any more "Cougar"-themed cruises. What is next, a ban on "Cheetah" cruises? Fear not, ladies; China could use 24 million of you.

Shea stadium is a relic now, but before "insert random bank" Field was built, Shea stadium was home to all the rowdies. Watch as they take full advantage of this sleeping fan.

It's true: Harold Ford, Jr. is a joke. His New York Post editorial today more or less announcing his candidacy for Senate is terrible. His various friends and associates are a rogue's gallery of Gawker's most hated.

In case you missed it, last night Matt Cherette was busy posting clips of Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, David Letterman and Craig Ferguson addressing the NBC latenight shakeup. Must See TV for people who like watching brickbats tossed at Jeff Zucker!

What is happening in the "art world" these days? Well, Wu-Tang's RZA is remixing 'Washington Crossing the Delaware' in typical Wu style (buy now!), in addition to directing his first movie. Biggest art thing since that dead shark! Wu-reminisce, below.

Neil Sedaka taught us many things, namely that breaking up was in fact hard to do. However, what if you aren't sure that's what you need to do? Take the easy way out and go on a break!

Be careful though, the absolute sincerity of this video is undercut by the zany imagery.

snarking on the clubs claiming to be "The New Beatrice" - i.e. designated hangout and coke den for New York notables and their hangers-on - in a New York Post story by Chris Wilson from Sunday that I just noticed.

Have you ever wondered if your doormen talk about you behind your back? Do they notice when you come home every night with a different guy? Do they have any idea that the kid who stopped off at your apartment the other night was there to make a "special delivery"? Oh, yes. They notice everything. Although keep in mind that if you do engage in something you shouldn't—like order in an escort while your wife is away on business—rest assured a generous tip goes a long way. [Brick Underground]

A tipster reports that Dean Wright, the "ethics editor" for Reuters, is looking into how and why Reuters chief David Schlesinger killed an investigation into SAC Capital's Steven Cohen after Cohen complained about the story to the firm's CEO.

Brad Ferro, the NYC high school gym teacher who punched Jersey Shore's lovable pet Snooki in the face, is being fired. If they fire all gym teachers who drunkenly punch women, who will be left to teach dodgeball? [TMZ]

It was less than a month ago that billionaire hedge fund manager (and occasional talk show guest) Steve Cohen was slapped with a lawsuit by his first wife, Patricia Cohen, claiming Stevie had hid millions of dollars from her when the couple split up (not to mention engaged in insider trading, set up a racketeering scheme with his brother, and committed mail and wire fraud).

Watch this dog help with post-dinner cleanup. More helpful than your kids, probably.

Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany walking with their kids and dog in the West Village ... Uma Thurman leaving her townhouse in the Village ... Katie Couric walking uptown ... Jeff Bridges leaving his hotel in Midtown ... Jessica Szohr filming scenes for Gossip Girl on the Upper East Side ... Matthew Broderick walking son James to school ... and George Clooney and girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis heading into Crimson after making an appearance at the New York Film Critics Circle Awards.

California financier Danny Pang died at home last September just months after being accused of running a Ponzi scheme. Now the coroner's ruled that Pang killed himself with a massive overdose of painkillers, as suspected. [WSJ. Pic: AP]

Ex-Guantanamo guard feels bad about the abuses he witnessed. Friends ex-detainee on Facebook. Ex-detainee responds. BBC flies guard to London to meet and apologize. They crack jokes. I think we've found a 10 pm show for NBC.

It's unlikely Anthony Marshall will end up spending any time behind bars following his conviction last month of swindling his mother, socialite Brooke Astor. A judge ruled yesterday that Marshall can remain a free man while he appeals the verdict, and since it will probably take years for that to happen, the ailing 85-year-old can look forward to living out the rest of his life at his luxe East 79th St. co-op. [NYT]

Because we grew up reading newspapers, we take a look at what they print each day. Today: Florida is cold. Bankers are rich, want to be richer, Rupert Murdoch's television division continues to be the top story for Murdoch's tabloid.