Bolivian president Evo Morales: Avatard.

Last night's Biggest Loser featured a challenge that took place over water. Small problem: Maria is afraid of water and gets panic attacks. Her tumble is laughable, but actually ends with a trip to the hospital. Bring on the blood!

"The only thing worse than having to eat a bowl of piss-soaked Corn Flakes is not being able to use the footage."—Vice co-founder and Hipster of the Decade loser Gavin McInnes, via email. Hoax confirmed, allegedly? [Previously]

A stern Semitic father-figure could convince me to do pretty much anything, and in this case, I'm being taught how to prepare a soft-shell crab for po'boy-ification (it's not pretty).

Remember how the New York Times' uncomfortable interview with Caroline Kennedy pretty much sank her Senate campaign? Hello, Harold Ford, welcome to New York! First question: Jets or Giants?

Conde Nast is offering $10,000 each quarter for the employee who offers the best idea for improving the company. Do not be suckered in, Nasties! Do you trust the company to protect you? Instead, post your honest ideas here.

The Hitler meme is one of the best on the internet. It requires creativity, and if done well, it is hilarious. The one for Conan and Jay is easily one of the best we've seen.

This monkey might be tempting fate, but he can't help himself from harassing a group of young tigers.

Mischa Barton walking and talking in SoHo yesterday afternoon ... Ashlee Simpson heading into the Rosa Mexicano near Union Square on Monday ... George Clooney's girlfriend, Elisabetta Canalis shopping in SoHo ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving her home in the West Village ... Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi leaving MTV studios in Times Square ... Blake Lively shooting scenes for Gossip Girl on Madison Avenue ... and Michael Lohan and girlfriend Kate Major ice staking at Rockefeller Center.

Former NYT managing editor Gerald Boyd lost his job after the Jayson Blair scandal, which could be interpreted either as just desserts for snoozing while Blair fucked up the paper, or as an unjustified bit of scapegoating—made worse by the fact that Boyd was black, and the NYT wasn't exactly swarming with minority execs at the time (or ever!).

One partner gets a beard, the other gets money for drugs and gambling. They're still married, just like this comedian who never got his drunk Vegas marriage annulled and now can't marry his famous girlfriend. Matches made in heaven!

Tupac Shakur is thug life. No seriously, it's a tattoo across his torso that loudly proclaims him as a gangsta not to be trifled with. Until he met this kid (notice 'Pac walks away after they lock eyes).

former owner of the NYC media-friendly dives Siberia and Manhattans explaining the stakes involved in the continuing Angostura bitters shortage, to the New York Post.

Abduwali Abdukhadir Muse, the Somali pirate who survived the Navy SEALs snipers only to be brought to NYC for trial, has had two new ship hijacking charges added to his indictment. While in jail! See how dangerous he is? [NYT]

[Johnny Depp attending a film festival in Belgrade; image via INF]

A dog this smart and this cute? It's a keeper! I just hope it uses its brains for good, not evil.

• Filmmaker Danny Boyle is the new owner of an apartment in Chelsea. The Slumdog Millionaire director paid $1.7 million for a tri-level co-op at 334 West 19th Street, but he isn't planning to move in himself. Boyle reportedly purchased the apartment for his youngest daughter who is attending Parsons. [Real Deal]
• Hedge funder Charles Ray Langston and his wife Casey are believed to be the mystery couple who snagged a record-breaking $14 million for their 8,200-square-foot home in Sag Harbor, although there's still no word on the identity of the home's buyers. [NYP]
• Personal injury lawyer Eleanor P. Vale has dropped the price of her 1,800-square-foot penthouse at Hampshire House, nearly a year and a half after first listing it for $10.9 million. The two-bedroom pad, which Vale bought for just $1.515 million in 2005, is now listed for $9.9 million. [Cityfile, PDE]

NYU computer science professor Sam Roweis killed himself last night after arguing with his wife about child care. "[All] of a sudden, in the middle of the argument, he jumped over the 16th-floor balcony." NYU's bizarre suicide trend persists. [NYP]

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Each of the late night hosts responded in their own way to Conan's statement yesterday that he won't follow Jay Leno. Jokes were made, jabs thrown, insults flew — and Matt Cherette was busy clipping at Gawker TV. Here's a rundown: