With the Facebook Fugitive back in jail, what runaway rapscallion should we cheer for next? How about this two-ton hippopotamus, which escaped from a zoo and now wanders Montenegro with a pair of armed bodyguards.

Google Earth has added a plugin to access updated satellite maps of a post-quake Haiti. On their blog, the Earth and Maps team invites users to help them aggregate location-based information for disaster relief. ReadWriteWeb does before and after screencaps.

NYT found the mythic third-grader who shares a name with someone suspected of terrorism. (Shouldn't this happen regularly? Kid names and adult names aren't that different.) Read about Mikey Hicks crying during a pat-down, and other disheartening stories. [NYT]

The day after Co Co said No No to moving his time slot, Gawker.TV covered all of the late night shows to make sure not a single quip or sly remark escaped our radar. And tonight, nobody held back.

After 112 days on the run, Craig 'Lazie' Lynch—who escaped prison, then taunted the cops on Facebook—has been caught. We will miss him, the man who looked the social-media panopticon in the eye, then raised his middle finger.

"Cowboys and Aliens" is one of those projects that will either be really awful or really awesome: Apache Indians and white settlers come together when an alien spaceship crash-lands in their city. Daniel Craig is in talks to star.

Why Haiti is so vulnerable to earthquakes: The condensed version.

They waited outside the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals headquarters on E. 92nd St. with pure hearts: They were there to adopt chihuahuas. But there were 150 people and only 15 chihuahuas. Things got weird.

Seems that Letterman just couldn't wait until 11:35 to insult NBC. CBS just posted his anti-NBC rant from tonight's upcoming show on their YouTube account.

TMZ's managing editor asked a pressing boob question; Twitter's founder inflated a newspaper article; and a TechCrunch writer puffed up her sources. The Twitterati were swell.

Kumail is a top notch up-and-comer who you may have seen on Michael and Michael Have Issues, a show he wrote for as well. In this clip Kumail gives us the inside dirt on a new drug called Cheese.

The National Enquirer—which is always right about everything—says John Edwards "recently" went on a "sex-and-booze bender". But in a sign of how far he's fallen, Edwards couldn't even seal the deal with a young, blond bartender.

Ever feel like hurling an uncooperative laptop across the room? Then you can imagine how Forbes' Brian Caulfield felt when his notebook crashed during a Steve Jobs keynote. And why the computer's vengeful owner took it to a gun range.

• The Tavern on the Green auction kicked off today and continues through Friday. Expect long lines if you plan on checking it out yourself. (But forget about meeting Regis Philbin if you go; he was already there today.) [Crain's]
• Four Seasons chef Fabio Trabocchi is out after only three months. [NYP]
• The critics: Sam Sifton of the Times gives one star to the Breslin; Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton also weighs in on the Breslin, as does the Village Voice's Robert Sietsema; Adam Platt of New York takes on Maialino, giving it three out of five stars; Time Out awards four stars to Purple Yam; and the Post's Steve Cuozzo makes the case that Robert in Columbus Circle offers the best views in town.

Glenn Beck keeps a diary of his dreams about Sarah Palin. When Fox News' newest contributor appeared on his show today, he read a passage to her. It is just as uncomfortable as you'd imagine.

This mascot has a giant globe for a head and isn't afraid to wield it to his team's advantage. Watch as he issues a devastating blow to this unsuspecting ref.

[Musician Doveman commands the microphone last night at the Mercury Lounge. Image via I am Kat.'s Flickr]

Tonight we'll be tuning into all of the Late Night shows and The Real World. What are you watching tonight? Let us know in the comments.

Everyday we endeavor to highlight a single comment that is wise or witty or whatever. We're a bit too stupefied by the cruel whims of the natural world to read a long comment today, so here's a short one from sassypants:

They're moving the doomsday clock tomorrow morning, everyone!