BRO. Pikes are the most awesome frat EVER. They've graduated the universe's biggest, dumbest, most dangerously drunk assholes around, and paths of property and physical/emotional destruction are their calling cards. Like hazing multiple Cornell rushes into alcohol poisoning. Pussies! [IvyGate]

Armed with the knowledge that it might take the '94 Dream Team to get legislation past the senate after Scott "Big Daddy" Brown's victory, President Obama's bringing his political ringers in. Also: raging at the (Supreme Court) machine.

Remember that time Pat Robertson blamed the earthquake in Haiti on Haitians pact with the devil? Funny enough, a rabbi is now blaming it on Eli Valley, a comic book artist who we've published on this site! Nice work, Eli!

Earlier this week, Jon Stewart slammed Keith Olbermann in a Daily Show "Special Comment" for Olbermann's patently mediocre, ridiculous, immature, hyperbole-strewn commentary-cum-namecalling as of late. And last night, Olbermann responded in typical Olbermann fashion: like an asshole.

After stealing a car, some guy got busted playing Grand Theft Auto, with the stolen car sitting in his driveway. This is like that time Andre Balazs built The Standard after too many bad games of First Person Tetris. [cNet]

What was Conan O'Brien's final night hosting The Tonight Show like? For NBC, totally cock-rockingly awesome. The networked murked it in the ratings game. Meanwhile, Conan and Friends got positively fitshaced, while Hulu conspired against the late-night funnyman's jokes.

So! The Hope For Haiti Telethon was last night, and if you're like everyone else, it was Friday night, and you were out, you selfish fuck. Or all TEAM COCO. Either way, music happened. Timberlake! Beyonce! Swift! Hova! Gospel Choirs!

Kids in the Hall, our comedic neighbors to the north, were Lorne Michael's other group of hilarious man-children who graced Canadian television between 1988 and 1994. In this sketch, Bruce McCulloch explains to us what America truly is.

The variables in The Most Important Sociological Experiment of Our Time—the castmembers of MTV's Jersey Shore—want cash: according to an item in this morning's Page Six, the Orange Creature Cadre are trying to get seriously paid.

Andy Dick: Something about his penis getting in trouble. Rihanna's about to break her man's umbrella off. Helen Mirren has a lesson for your children about getting drunk and stupid. Megan Fox's freaky thumbs! Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Last night was Conan O'Brien's teary farewell. The exit was artful and sincere, but we know Conan will be back. Until then he's left us plenty of entries in the media zeitgeist. Pale Force is one of the best.

Conan O'Brien just closed out his final episode as host of The Tonight Show, and what a show it was: hilarious shenanigans, Steve Carell, Tom Hanks, Neil Young, a tearful statement of gratitude, and Will Ferrell with a mothereffing cowbell.

The voice of TV's Archer and former award winning writer for Conan O'Brien's Late Night perform a bizarre form of stand-up that revolves around rambling discussion and wandering around. Their pseudo-ironic banter goes nowhere, and somehow it works.

Tonight at 8pm is the Hope for Haiti Now telethon, which will air on many TV stations and is being livestreamed on sites across the web, including here. Please support relief and recovery in Haiti.

[You still have two chances to search for Lady Gaga's peen at Radio City Music Hall, where she has been performing since Wednesday, when this picture was snapped. Image via Anna Fischer's Flickr]

This week: everyone took advantage of a crisis for their own gain, someone sold Gay Paradise, and a naked guy won America's heart (and higher legislative body).

To the #tips page: you won't be able to buy the Skull & Bones skull, a classic South Park memo and cold idiots. Since no one's working tonight, why not check out #crosstalk? Keep strong Snugbug.

It's Conan's last week and Gawker.TV's Week in Video's second week. Celebrate Conan's legacy and our recap video's infancy by watching our compilation of the last week's biggest videos.

Jim Behrle's Kartoon kats are unhappy with Massachusetts. And they are rioting for CoCo!

The New York Times' announcement that it would start charging for its website in 2011 was more aspiration than business plan. Still, media folk have been debating it like the very existence of the NYT is at stake. It's not.