New information about the harrowing 10-hour hostage situation that preceded the quadruple murder at a multimillion-dollar D.C. home reportedly includes evidence of torture and a quick pizza break.

A little over a week ago, North Korea claimed to have successfully launched a ballistic missile from an undersea submarine. Such a launch would have been a major step forward for the hermit country, if it had actually happened. But according to German aerospace experts, the photos supposedly proving North Korea’s technological prowess only proved that, once again, North Korea is shit at Photoshop.

Twitter’s promoted tweets allow anyone to pay a little money to get their message in front of a wider audience—even if that message urges “trannies” to “commit suicide now.”

Plaid-condom monogram Tucker Carlson is apparently a semi-regular on Alex Jones’s crazy-talk show, because even if jet fuel can’t melt steel, it can give eight pounds of frat-boy hair a lovely volumizing body. Here’s the duo riffing jazzlike on Obama’s very clearly Nazi-like tendency to embrace racial diversity.

“Hey, buddy! Hey, yeah—you! You wanna hot dog? I got some fresh water hot dogs ready for the guzzling. Some fresh New York City water dogs, all boiled in dirty water. This one’s on me—just kidding, what do I look like, some kind of dirtbag? That’ll be $30. No refunds.”

It’s no surprise that the Department of Defense likes to play fast and loose with their finances, but according to a new report from Reuters, the people that are supposed to be the DOD’s watchdog might be turning more of a blind eye than we realized. Despite giving the Marine Corps’s accounts an “unqualified approval” in December of 2013, the DOD’s Office of the Inspector General had been fully aware that its books weren’t up to par for months.

Gawker has obtained partial transcripts from the custody trial at the center of Fox News anchor Bill O’Reilly’s vicious dispute with his ex-wife, Maureen McPhilmy. The documents, which record testimony given last year, confirm that the ex-couple’s teenage daughter told a court-appointed forensic examiner that she witnessed O’Reilly “choking her mom” as he “dragged her down some stairs” by the neck. The same transcripts also reveal that O’Reilly—who famously settled a lurid sexual harassment claim from one of his young female producers—told his daughter that her mother is an “adulterer”; that he struggles to control his rage around his family; and that his daughter regards him as an absentee father.

R.I.P. Walmart.horse, a very good, three-month-old website whose content consisted solely of an image of a horse standing in front of Walmart.

In 1989, Playboy was preparing to publish a story from a new collection by a young writer named David Foster Wallace when some editors happened to catch a two-year-old episode of Late Night with David Letterman. There, onscreen, were Letterman and his guest, the actress Susan St. James, speaking dialogue from Wallace’s story, verbatim.

When praying mantis aliens tell you to quit your job and become a soothsayer, sometimes you follow their orders. At least that’s what one woman here in Phnom Penh did earlier this year. Eileen, who declined to give her full name in case her mom found out about her drastic career change, was working in international development in Cambodia but now sits in a colorful stall in one of Phnom Penh’s teeming markets. Her fortune-telling services have proven popular with locals who have dubbed her “Kru Khmer Barang”—the Western shaman.

You may have heard about the Billings teen who could face charges for killing his best friend with an “heirloom” revolver after the friend tapped on his window in the dead of night. But what do you know of 10 dead bears, sheep eradicating ragweed, and a lawsuit over the Garden of Read’n Christian bookstore?

“Thought Catalog receives between 100 and 500 pieces a day via the submission form alone... roughly 10 or 15 percent of them wind up on the site.” Did you know that Thought Catalog is extremely selective?

Rand Paul just took to the Senate floor to filibuster the renewal of the Patriot Act, and if history’s any judge, this could be going on for a while. Friends, pray for Rand Paul’s bladder.

The mostly Republican Legislature of the mostly Republican state of Nebraska voted Wednesday to ban capital punishment by a margin that’s likely to withstand the governor’s veto.

As politicians threaten to cut public anti-poverty benefits, we are bringing you true stories from Americans who’ve received various forms of welfare and food stamps. Life on the dole is not as easy as some might think.

One of the 170 bikers arrested after Sunday’s deadly shootout between rival biker gangs in Waco, Texas, is a former San Antonio Police Department detective. Martin Lewis, 62, retired in 2004 after 32 years with the SAPD and is reportedly a member of the Bandidos Motorcycle Club.

Fraternities and sororities serve a very worthwhile social purpose by sorting young Americans into handy stereotypes that will aid you in avoiding them during college. But some Greek undergrads think they get a bad rap, and are acting like jerks on Facebook to fix that.

Newly declassified documents from Osama bin Laden’s Abbottabad retirement compound show that al Qaeda’s rigorous HR department wasn’t just trolling LinkedIn for resumes—the terror organization had a formal application process. “Who should we contact in case you became a martyr?”

Footage of the brutal 2013 beating of a SUV driver by a group of bikers who chased the car down the West Side Highway was used as evidence in court this week against two of the bikers standing trial, including an undercover cop.

A Wyoming man who had a diabetic emergency while driving this weekend found an unlikely savior in famed harmonizer Layzie Bone, who came to the man’s aid and successfully revived him using chocolate and fruit, The NY Daily News reports.