A teenage Haitian girl who was in the shower when her house collapsed was rescued alive yesterday, 15 days after the earthquake. "[She] mumbled something about having a little Coca-Cola with her in the rubble." Sign her up, Coke. [AP]

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

• What caused Brittany Murphy's death last month? The toxicology report hasn't come back, but Murphy's husband, Simon Monjack, is already pointing a finger at the culprit: He claims Warner Bros. killed her. Yes, the sketchy writer/director/ photographer (who claims he has a PhD and made his fortune as a currency trader and art collector) is putting the blame on the film studio, since it fired her from a job two weeks before her death and it was the stress that ensued that killed her. He's now preparing to sue Warner Bros. But you probably could have guessed that. [Daily Beast, NYP, P6]
• Those reports last weekend about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up never panned out. But it could still happen at any moment, reports Us Weekly. Why? Because Angie feels that Brad isn't "pulling his weight" around the house and she yells at him "when he makes the eggs too runny or burns something." And the "spats have gotten so bad recently" that Pitt now calls "her a bitch behind her back." If you were thinking the recent false alarm might convince the tabloids to focus their elsewhere attention, think again. [Us]
• Michael Douglas' 31-year-old son, Cameron, pleaded guilty yesterday to trafficking meth and cocaine—he was busted at the Gansevoort Hotel last July, as you may recall—and now faces a minimum of 10 years in jail. [NYP, NYDN]

The speech from DC dominates the speech from SF, and the White House must be pretty happy with the headlines — the messages that Obama wants to restart and concentrate on jobs come through loud and clear.

Ah college, a place where groups of girls can beat other girls savagely with paddles in a nightly ritual until they are hospitalized, in an apparent attempt to 'humble' them and get them to rely on one another. Related: who knew that 'aggravated hazing' was an actual category of crime? [NYP]

The Wall Street Journal digs under the surface of banks' fake contrition and finds loans that are deferred against share compensation or are 'forgivable' — which means they don't really have to be paid back.

The AP report that he boasted to a conservative think-tank of a big project in New Orleans that they'd soon be hearing about. And they did. Then joined other conservatives in throwing him under the bus.

The man calling the shots at the new New York Times, Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim, is celebrating his birthday today: He's 70. (Let's hope Arthur Sulzberger Jr. didn't forget to send a gift.) French president Nicolas Sarkozy is turning 55. Elijah Wood turns 29 today. Sarah McLachlan is 42. Alan Alda is turning 74. Writer/comedian Mo Rocca is 41. Liberal radio host Randi Rhodes is 51. Rick Warren, the controversial pastor and self-help author, is turning 56. The rapper Rakim turns 42. Former 'N Sync member Joey Fatone is 33. And former Backstreet Boy Nick Carter turns 30 today.

Yes, we retired the word hipster. But this captioning of pictures from Dwell magazine with poignant lines encapsulating the misery of a perfect home, a perfect life, is worth a minor comeback.

Who gave Taylor Momsen the grown-up lollipop? A Jersey Shore guido plans his future at Harvard Law. Brittany Murphy's husband sues Warner Brothers for killing her. Charlie Sheen's ex checks into rehab—but why? Thursday's gossip round-up raises questions.

The problem with condensed Twitter URLs: You can't see where they go. White House correspondent Major Garrett tweeted a URL last night, and it went to a Vegas call girl website. Vegas, where some White House folks go next month.

The entire internet rallied against his anti-diversity crusade, but Skip "Highest paid man on Wall Street" McGee may have gotten what he wanted at Houston's Kinkaid School, where two faculty members just resigned.

We do not want a Mel Gibson comeback, but the universe doesn't care because Mel Gibson just landed another starring role. Katie Holmes also might make a comeback, and George Lucas writes a musical about fairies. All inside the Roundup!

Paparazzi have mistaken this lady for Donatella at least four times. Rumor has it she's an "Italian countess who has had a home on St. Bart's for over ten years." An investigation into Fake Donatella, and telling the two apart.

THE WHITE HOUSE

Ah, the State of the Union address. 68 minutes of political theater sandwiched between hours of political punditry with a delicious side of everybody live-blogging it. There were some awkward moments and some serious ones, and some talk about gays.

It was like 2008 all over again tonight: The economy sucks (but not nightmarish) and Barack Obama gave a stump speech with a familiar, big close reminding us that everything that's wrong with the country is our own damn fault.

This probably won't end well. Following the President's State of the Union address tonight, Chris Matthews took to MSNBC's airwaves to declare that Obama is "post-racial," before stating, "I forgot he was black tonight for an hour." Update: Matthews "clarifies."

Remember the publisher who leaked Steve Jobs' iPad secrets yesterday? His punishment has begun.

The charm of CJ Sullivan is that it always seems like he isn't trying very hard. Here he explains how he considers educational television "reading."