Epic parenting fails rarely coincide with tech-related hissyfits, but this father's idea of a good afternoon-activity proves that the freakout-lovechild of the two is pretty hilarious.

It is the worst year for Congressional Democrats since 1994. Right now we are all just wondering if they'll be able to retain a majority in either house. You know who isn't worried? Nancy Pelosi. She has all the money.

This ad may be a tad unbelievably sexist, given the prolonged, gratuitous shot of a girl's cleavage, but when it comes to the matter of protecting one's country, all bets are off.

Washington Post conventional wisdom repeater Howie "Howard" Kurtz wrote a column about Jon Stewart yesterday and—OMG—Jon Stewart totally mentioned it on TV last night. So Howie Kurtz wrote a story about that fact, for the newspaper. Real journalism.

Why do New York's bridges and tunnels have such boring names? Wouldn't it be possible to come up with something more creative? A few thoughts (and suggestions) via Quite All Right:

Want to see a dog spin like a whirling dervish? Watch this AFHV Clip O' The Day.

We all need a little lovin' and this guy prefers his of the plastic variety. This tween singer uses her lovin' to get her gigs, and this supposedly sober actor is lovin' getting drunk. We got a whole lotta love.

[One of the stars of MTV's 9-part, Michael Apted-directed documentary series "Jersey Shore Up" in New York City yesterday; image via INF]

Here is a story that maybe should be "getting more play:" Al Qaeda is "certain" to attack America in the next six months—possibly killing you in the process. Even worse, other enemies are preparing to rain terror from above.

Let's all take a moment to thank our friends at AIG. In the spirit of generosity, employees at the ruined insurance giant have agreed to a $20 million reduction in the $195 million in bonus payments they were previously promised. They didn't have to do it. But they did. To make you happy. Can't we all get along now? [WSJ]

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Admiral Mike Mullen is the hero, John McCain is the villain. Ladies and gentlemen we have a conflict! Everyone loves a conflict! Especially on an emotive issue like this one.

• There's a good chance you'll be seeing the cast of Jersey Shore in the tents at Fashion Week. (If, that is, you happen to be going to Fashion Week.) MTV's newest crop of reality stars have been asking to tickets to shows, and a few designers have extended invites to "to attend or even model." [P6]
• If you wanted to go to business school but didn't do so well on the GMATs, Diddy is here to help. He says he plans to open a business school in New York City in the near future. [Starpulse, Us]
• Michael Jackson's "personal physician," Dr. Conrad Murray, is expected to surrender to the authorities today in connection with charges he played a role in Jackson's death. He'll likely be charged with involuntary manslaughter, which could land him four years in jail. [TMZ]
• Perpetual brat Kanye West threw a fit while flying back to New York from LA when he was told he and his assistant would have to sit in business class, not first. The temper tantrum paid off, though: The airline found room for him in the front of the plane and the rest of the flight went off without a hitch. [P6]

Oh good. There are more controversial climate change emails for global warming deniers to salivate over. An investigation by the Guardian revealed that the scientist who tried to cover up contrary data before has other holes in his work. [Guardian]

Nathan Lane turns 54 today. Novelist Paul Auster is turning 63. Public relations heavyweight Howard Rubenstein is 78. Actress Isla Fisher is turning 34. Actress (and Gwyneth mom) Blythe Danner is turning 67. Actress Maura Tierney is 45. Director Frank Coraci (The Wedding Singer) turns 43. Real estate heiress Denise LeFrak is 68. Morgan Fairchild is turning 60. And Tallulah Belle Willis, the daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, celebrates her 16th birthday today.

Hayden Panettiere's heavyweight boxer boyfriend forces us to confront our ageist, sizeist assumptions. Sandra Bullock would trade her Oscar nod for a dog. Jersey Shore contemplates Fashion Week. Holy crap, is Britney pregnant again? Wednesday gossip is not to scale.

The President keeps using Sin City as an example of dumb spending. Which is upsetting the people of Vegas, who need your dumb spending, irresponsibility and drunken plans that start with the word "dude," in order to survive.

People are odd. Greg Raymond Denny Jr had only met his distant cousin Cherriebelle Hibbard a few times. Then one day he decided to dress as a US Marshal, burst into her Southern California home and force her to move back to the Philippines at gunpoint. "No motive was released." [AP]

"It's now just a matter of timing" before Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson's infamous doctor and alleged pill-pusher, is charged with involuntary manslaughter, reports TMZ. The crime is a felony and carries a maximum prison sentence of four years. Dr. Murray is reportedly planning to surrender himself to Los Angeles authorities today. [TMZ]

A pair of lesbian albatrosses welcomed a male albatross into their home; he impregnated one, then flew away. The ladies took turns sitting on the egg and are now raising their gayby "the same as any male-female pair would."