The following news outlets will be carrying the Tiger Woods press conference today: All.

Wall Street 2 is finally upon us—and this time: it's fiscally responsible. It looks be an art imitating life extravaganza, with Michael Douglas giving some more inspired speeches, and LeBeouef trying to marry Gekko's daughter. And Josh Brolin!

Never get homophobic at a fashion show! He should keep his mouth shut, like this actress who never mentions her costar in interviews. Another actress doesn't need to worry about her mouth, but her nose and what goes up it.

This baby can't stop laughing at his dad playing Nintendo Wii. He'll stop though when he realizes his dad probably loves that Wii more than him.

This Sunday, Feb. 21, Gilt Groupe will offer an exclusive sale to benefit Fashion For Haiti, with net proceeds going directly to the Clinton Bush Haiti Fund. The shirts are mad cute, and they are only $25! Plus, Beyoncé's wearing one.

Lisa Falcone—wife of hedge fund billionaire and NYT shareholder Philip Falcone, soft porn actress (Correction: not her!), and precious clueless socialite philanthropist—is being sued for allegedly beating and penis-grabbing and degrading her former gay butler dude. Hahahaha, wonderful!

Ah, young love. So passionate. So tender. So crass.

[Ed Westerlywicker from "A Gossip Girl's Guide to Gossip, Girl" arriving at Fashion Week; image via INF]

After the government's jackbooted thugs decided that "light" cigarettes were illegal, terrified consumers mewled, "However shall we distinguish our favorite formerly 'light' brands?" Here's how: They'll all be conveniently color-coded. It's like this whole "ban" never happened, huzzah!

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

James Arthur Ray, the self-help guru who presided over three deaths in an Arizona 'sweat lodge' says he's broke and can't post bond in the criminal manslaughter case he faces. [AP]

Some people, with a twisted sense of aesthetic value, purchased portraits of former Fed chairman Alan Greenspan when he was lauded as an economic hero. Now those works of art are worth less. And Alan Greenspan is still ugly. [WSJ]

In private life most of us use bad words and are sometimes casually, unthinkingly, derogatory about people whose problems are not their own fault. So why, when scandals over loose comments go public, do we all pretend to be outraged?

Last night was the third anniversary of Manhattan sex theatre/nightclub The Box. Unfortunately a transsexual called Rose Wood threw up from the stage, directly on Susan Sarandon. The response? Plenty of paper towels. Keep calm and carry on.

Is "fishers of men" a euphemism for cruising? Adam Lambert kisses a girl. Shakira makes fetal position sexy. Lil' Wayne has eight root canals. The guy who punched Romney is a famed rapper. Friday gossip wants to drill, baby, drill.

Remember that video of an unbound horse running alongside bicycles in the Tour de France, featured in Amelie? A runaway Barnum & Bailey zebra paid homage to that yesterday, but on a downtown Atlanta highway.

On Monday, we brought you a video of the mistakes made during the pairs figure skating routines at the Olympics. Tonight, the men went solo, and—shocker!—they fell on their asses, too. Inside, a compilation of all the flubs.

Owen Wilson, Woody Allen and Carla Bruni make a movie. Ben Affleck does a movie too—about wife-swapping. Steven Segal is back. Zac Efron is rich. Our last significant digit must be five or greater, because we're rounding up.

Tonight, Mo'Nique introduced us to our new best friend-Vickie Winans. Don't know who she is? Good. We don't either. But after her stint on The Mo'Nique Show here is what we do know.

The jazz hands admissions video was much friendlier than this. Yale's newest videographic extravaganza demonstrates how, halfway through senior year, the Yale Alumni Club uses Stockholm Syndrome to impound new members with physical intimidation and deadly weapons.