Roger Ailes, corpulent prick and president of Fox News, has come out of the closet as a liberal who opposes the war in Afghanistan and thinks wearing lapel pins to prove that you care about something is shallow.

New York Mayor-for-life Mike Bloomberg's top aide, Deputy Mayor Kevin Sheekey, is leaving City Hall for a much better-paying gig with—try to look surprised—Bloomberg LP. Do you know what this means? Deputy Mayor Howard Wolfson.

During Barney's quest to bed the ladies, he stumbled upon a sure-fire way to get girls to come back to his apartment: Teacup Pigs. We dare you not to squeal with delight at the sight of these miniature piggies.

And why yes, that is Carrie Underwood playing the girl who fell for the "Teacup Pig" ploy.

It looks like Rush Limbaugh is moving ahead with his threat to leave New York City. He's (finally!) put his tacky Fifth Avenue apartment up for sale. The cost of ridding NYC of Rush once and for all? $13.95 million.

The Gowanus Canal's officially a Superfund site. Hmm. Gowanus is still the supercoolest neighborhood, right?

On Jay Leno's first night back to Tonight Show hosting duties, he stole two jokes for his monologue. One from Mitt Romney(!?), and another from an ESPN Page 2 sports writer. Proof inside.

Reality has corrected itself, sadly. Jay Leno is back on The Tonight Show and is once again beating Dave Letterman. Last night, Jay the returning conqueror handily clobbered his old nemesis, who could really use a good Palin scandal. [EW]

It's no "Welcome Table" of Strangers with Candy fame, but this little ditty is probably the creepiest singalong ever, considering the choir: kids raised within the prostitution/child abuse hotbed and, sadly, still existent cult, The Children of God.

The day after Leno's Tonight Show premiers, The Early Show invites Howard Stern onto their show to discuss bash Jay Leno. Stern didn't hold back, saying the mere mention of Leno's name makes him want to vomit.

Everyone hates those uncomfortable moments when you run into someone whose name you just can't remember. But what happens when you're Robin Roberts on live national television and you forget that nice blonde coworker's name? Awkwardness—lots of it.

The rich: they're different from you and me. You read a story you like, you send a letter to the editor. A rich guy reads a story he likes and sends a $20,000 check to the writer.

Police Officers prank drivers by replacing their license plate with a different one, then proceed to interrogate them for having false info.

Have a blind rage inside of you that needs to be let out? According to this video, if you have a crazy wardrobe and similarly crazy friends—your hidden anger can help make you an expert in mixed martial arts.

Because he wants the Democrats to hold on to the New York Senate seat, Harold Ford is... bashing the incumbent, on national TV, and claiming the seat is in great danger of going to a Republican.

Here's a short film called The Sandpit. An artist named Sam O'Hare took over 35,000 photos over a week last August and strung them together into a day-in-the-life movie, one that appears to be filmed on a miniature set.

Starbucks is ground zero for gun nuts now! Survivalists, modern-day militiamen, and muttering crazies all prefer Sbux-brand lattes! No longer will Starbucks be seen as a safe haven for liberal pussies! The shooting starts soon.

Look out, there's a new man's best friend—and this little guy can fit on your desk. Dog bone: check, miniature doggy bed: check, absolutely crippling cuteness: check!

When did the evil laugh get so powerful? We distilled your favorite Sci-Fi movies to answer these questions and to pump out a recap of all the most sinister yucks of all time.

She walked into the party, like she was walking on to a yacht. OK, it was more like walking into a brothel. This MTV star doesn't want her sex tape to be the clouds in her coffee. They're so vain.

This child on this classic Wife Swap clip really wanted his bacon, and did not want his new "mother" interfering with his culinary preferences.