whose movie, 500 Days of Summer, begins with these words: "Any resemblance to people living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially you, Jenny Beckman. Bitch." To Page Six.

Is the belief in Jesus Christ the root of bad acting? Well, perhaps not definitively, but this video evidence leans towards yes. Where is all that collection plate money going?

Carey Mulligan won't let Shia drink. Russell Simmons lets slip he's got a huge dick. Mo'Nique acts like a diva. Mariah Carey acts like her spanx has cut off circulation to her brain. Sunday gossip has Oscars fever.

What better way to prepare yourself for this year's Academy Awards than by looking back at the most memorable moments of Oscars past? Here, an original video compilation of some of the funniest, sweetest and weirdest bits from previous telecasts.

In this amazing piece of amateur video—shot yesterday—the city of Melbourne, Australia is pelted with giant balls of hail. And then, in an instant, the hail turns to rain—so much of it, in fact, that the streets flood.

Yesterday, we wondered if it was possible for Zach Galifianakis to not be funny. If tonight's SNL is any indication, the answer is a definitive "No." Inside, video of Galifianakis "dropping by the set" of a host of NBC shows.

Last night Los Angeles was drained of star power because super-agencies WME and CAA had house parties with ridiculous security. Things we discovered: bribing people is harder than you think, security guards are scary and we belong among the dregs.

Everyone's favorite now-reclusive comedian, Dave Chappelle, did a recent stint at the Laugh Factory. Chappelle poked fun at himself, but focused mostly on mocking the book, "The Secret".

According to his new memoir, a 9-year-old Rove affixed a Nixon sticker to his bicycle, prompting a leftist girl child to give him a bloody nose. We must find this girl and make her into a folk hero.

We interviewed two cocaine dealers—one who deals with young Hollywood and one who looks after the old-school connoisseurs. They both expected business to double, but for very different reasons.

For reasons we can't fathom, dudes in Hollywood have really bad hair. Here are the worst offenders so far — in black and white as an homage to those home-made model shots you see in the windows of crappy hairdressers.

Seaside Realty in Seaside, NJ would like to remind you that the house from Jersey Shore is still available for nightly rentals. But you better hurry because every prom party in Jersey is headed there this spring!

Emma Charlton pretended she had terminal cancer and was the editor of Vogue. Before that, she used the name Golightly and operated a gold-digging scam. Now, she will go to jail for defrauding her fiance and grandmother, among others.

PR firm Distinctive Assets is a philanthropic organization dedicated to comforting the world's most bereft and deeply afflicted: Millionaire Oscar nominees who lose. They get vacations in Monaco and Fancy Feast meals for their cats.

Tomorrow's telecast of the Oscars may very well be the least glamorous awards show ever!

Panic swept over Berlin's Grand Hyatt today when a group of burglars carrying Kalashnikov assault rifles waltzed into a European Poker Tour tournament and made off with $1.2 million, before a live television broadcast. UPDATED

Reality is confused with the dreamworld as a woman chases herself through a black and white land of symbols and cycles. Avant-garde pioneer Maya Deren's first film, Meshes of the Afternoon, concerns the psyche's secrets in an enigma of images.

Now all they have to do is teach everyone how these contraptions even work. The freebies will be in "beauty salons, convenience stores and high schools" for the next three weeks. [WaPo]

"Ms. Mitler is offering a high-end service that hopes to find a thriving market in unemployed 20-somethings. For $400 an hour, she is coaching [them] to land their first job." As if being an unemployed 20-something weren't humiliating enough. [NYT]

Moments ago in Berlin—and on live television—armed robbers raided the Hyatt hotel that was hosting a European Poker Tournament event and left with a reported €1 million. Inside, video of the panic that ensued as the robbery happened.