Today we showed you a vision of your fat fucking kids and you folks responded effusively. Mostly you said funny things about fat kids. Here are some of those funny things!

A tipster tells us Ben Maisani was Anderson Cooper's guest at last night's Vanity Fair Oscar party. We turned up this picture that certainly looks like Cooper brought his very private boyfriend to a very public event.

Eric Massa is going to resign after all. And then tomorrow he is going to be on Glenn Beck. Here is his comical radio talk about Rahm Emanuel attacking Massa in the shower, without his towel on.

While Honest Abe is widely lauded for saving the Union and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. Til now.

The first ever film version of Alice In Wonderland was released in 1903. Recently restored by the BFI National Archive, the short silent film is very charming and features surprisingly good special effects.

[Raging supermodel Naomi Campbell attends a Women for Women event at the Brooklyn Bridge today; image via Getty]

Video producer Kate Bohner has re-published her autobiographical blog, just two weeks after taking it offline amid threats from Eric Schmidt's lawyers. There's been one especially noticeable change: the character "Dr. Strangelove" is gone.

Fringe has been picked up for third season, photos of drunken celebs at last night's Oscar after-parties, Zach Morris is on TV once again, catching up on the Independent Spirit Awards, and Betty White will (really!) host SNL.

Here is a scientific water use chart proving that everyone in Edmonton ran out to pee at the end of every period in the Olympic gold medal hockey game. Unironically beloved NY1 newsman Pat Kiernan is pushing this chart, HARD.

If you're on this site, there's a good chance that you read Gizmodo and Valleywag regularly. And you probably Tweet. And you have an Linked In account. Well, according to this spoof video, that makes you a New Dork.

No matter who you are, losing a pet can be one of the hardest emotional ordeals that you can undergo. This classic footage of Jimmy Stewart on the Tonight Show is a beautifully tearful look into grieving and remorse.

If you were like me, last night you were watching the show with plenty of questions. Why so long? Why so bad? Who is that weird red-haired lady crashing the stage? Well, we found some answers and even more questions.

It's official: Betty White will appear on SNL. Details are sketchy, but the internet won!

Congratulations to televisionarie for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

Today at Gawker.TV, watch the cast of Community find out they've been renewed, Jimmy Kimmel rounds up all of Hollywood's hotties, trouble over the world "caulk," and we rain on the parade by pointing out The Hurt Locker's obvious mistakes.

The Way We Live Now: Traditionally. We're subtly reverting to the days of yore. When women were paid in buttons. When the Hamptons were sleepy beach villages. When money was...controlled by Second Life sex fiends. Well, semi-traditionally.

Ben Huh's media startup is focused on LOLcats and other internet animal memes. Things are less cute behind the scenes, where underpaid and overworked humans lurk, according to several company veterans who answered our recent request for information.

Remember last fall when Lindsay Lohan was named "artistic adviser" at fashion house Emanuel Ungaro and she put on a totally disastrous show featuring glittery nipple tassels and bare buttocks? Not surprisingly, her career as a designer is over. [Reuters]

Add this to the list of things that shouldn't be fascinating but are anyway: a man meticulously ironing a shirt.

If all the earthquakes lately have you worrying that the Mole Gods are angry and the world is maybe ending, there there. Science has just patted our heads and reassured us that everything is normal. It's all just coincidence!