As soon as the words came out of Gerard's mouth, he regretted them. Corey Feldman defends Corey Haim. Jessica Simpson misses Tony Romo's "cute butt." Pattinson used to get beat up all the time. Thursday's gossip roundup has no filter.

Riding high on Oscar glory, the brains behind dolphin hunting documentary The Cove, along with several federal agencies, busted Santa Monica hot-spot eatery The Hump for serving endangered Sei whale meat.

Israeli nationalist organization Lehava "provides assistance to Jewish girls in relationships with non-Jews," helping "extricate" them from goyim relationships. Their latest target: Israeli supermodel and Leonardo DiCaprio girlfriend Bar Rafaeli.

You're never too young to have a personal brand. Madonna and her precociously stylish 13-year-old daughter are co-designing Material Girl, a teen clothing line that will hopefully resist the urge to stamp "Material Girl" on the seats of gym shorts.

The average sex life ends at the age of 70. So, for every 30-year-old who can't get laid, there is a 110-year-old getting it on. That's how averages work, right? [Bloomberg]

Tonight on American Idol, when Kara DioGuardi wasn't busy saying things that she should shut up about, Ellen DeGeneres took the opportunity—after resident hot thang Tim Urban's performance—to get out of her seat and hug him. Video inside.

Little Dakota Fanning is all grown up and making everyone feel like a pedophile. Alongside Kristen Stewart, Dakota shakes her distressingly young chest in this music video for Joan Jett biopic The Runaways. Somewhere, Taylor Momsen is seething with envy.

As Stephen Colbert noted tonight, it turns out that Glenn Beck's sponsors might be as crazy as the guy himself. When the apocalypse comes, make sure to have your crisis herb garden!

Last month, we told you that Victoria Beckham was the worst American Idol judge ever. And like Richard Lawson predicted, we were wrong, because Kara DioGuardi is absolutely, unequivocally, indescribably worse than Posh. Or anyone. Inside, proof from tonight's episode.

On her show tonight, Joy Behar and her panel traded pun after pun while discussing former Congressman Eric Massa's current PR debacle. Is there more than meets the eye to these "tickle parties" in which Massa's been involved? Video inside.

Howard Stern defends yesterday's rant about "enormous as a planet" Gabourey Sidibe: "Obesity in this country is out of control," and he just wants everyone to be healthy. Since when does acknowledging a fat person constitute "tacitly" promoting obesity?

Chris D'Elia performed his first stand-up act when he was 16 and has been making people laugh ever since. Watch as D'Elia discusses his observations about "gangstas" in the urban community.

New emails tie John Ensign even closer to his cuckolded, hush-moneyed staffer.

It's time for your American Idol live blog! Tonight (9:00 PM ET on FOX), the Top 8 guys will perform live for your votes. More inside, along with your open thread and the best comments from the last two episodes.

Last night, Rumer Willis started her lesbian quest for Adrianna on 90210, it was all about the Benjamins on LOST, and after that trashy pageants show, think I've finally given up on TLC.

[Alexander McQueen's final collection, completed a few weeks before his suicide last month, was revealed in Paris yesterday and today. The 16 outfits featured his trademark tailoring, attention to detail, and glamorous outlandishness.]

Biz Stone used an age-shortener to fit his birthday onto Twitter; Julia Allison tried doing math with her brain; and Ana Marie Cox attempted to flirt with Rahm Emanuel over basic cable. The Twitterati turned to tools of last resort.

Despite the millions and millions he's poured into the struggling New York Times, shady Mexican mogul Carlos Slim managed to bypass Bill Gates and Warren Buffett to nab the No. 1 spot on Forbes' 2010 list of world billionaires. [Forbes]

TONIGHT: Ally Sheedy plays a murderous man, the Orange County housewives reunite for a catfight moderated by Andy Cohen, Chelsea Handler's interview special, Tinsley Mortimer's reality show debut, and Top Model is back (sans Miss J, plus Perez Hilton).

In this video he attempts to learn with a little help from dad. Now he just needs to learn how to share and how to tie shoes and he'll be on his way to becoming a fully functioning adult!