TONIGHT: Andy Samberg plays a park ranger on Parks and Recreation, Liz Lemon thinks she's met her future husband, ABDC gets inspired by Usher, and March Madness begins (and unfortunately, takes over TV for the next few weeks.)

Down our throats. Please do! We really need it. In case you needed further proof that our current health care system is fucked up, here's a detailed, fascinating comment from someone in the trenches.

It's hard to pick a side! Billy the Exterminator is just doing his job and so, one could argue, is the raccoon. These two will never see eye to eye. This is how Odd Couple style sitcoms are born.

As any obsessed fan would know, John Cusack gets cast in a lot of roles that require him to perform scenes in the pouring rain. Moviefone's mashup of his roles from Say Anything to High Fidelity proves the theory well.

Oh boy, Maureen Dowd pissed off Marty Peretz! How can I not click on a blog post from The New Republic's prickly, racist sometimes-owner headlined "Maureen Dowd And The Saudi Royals"?

The following email was sent out to the Columbia Journalism School new media alumni email list today. We post it not to mock the unfortunate sender, but rather to gently question just how well they're teaching "new media," over there.

NBC will ditch the celebs and revive the original Apprentice series, Ryan Seacrest needs to learn what a "spoiler" is, Top Chef goes on tour, Winnie Cooper's pregnant, and Ed Helms has a bluegrass band?

YouTube's big court fight with Viacom is unearthing some fun stories, like this one: Viacom secretly doctored its content to look stolen, uploaded it to YouTube, and then promptly reported itself for copyright abuse, having forgotten about its own ruse.

What happens when you meet the real Raphael from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in a dark place? We see his true being: a gangsta turtle who isn't afraid to tell it like it is!

The Way We Live Now: As one big family. Extended families living together are back! By necessity, borne of poverty. Still, something we can embrace. Unlike sewage wage freezes and worthless garbage homes and crazy old Senate alien coots.

You've heard about Tiger Woods' very naughty text messages by now, haven't you? We went ahead and built a Tiger clone in the office this afternoon. Send a text message to 646-450-2708 and you'll get a reply from our Tigerbot in minutes. [Update: The Tigerbot is a bit overwhelmed right now; apologies if you don't get an immediate response.] It's free, of course. It's also most definitely NSFW, though, so be careful you don't leave your phone lying around for your significant other and/or co-workers to see.

Congratulations to semicarbazone for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

Today at Gawker.TV, the hosts of The View turn into puppets, George and Robin flub up their lines on GMA, Ugly American's pilot episode, and how last night's Top Model is more like a Japanese game show thank you think.

Walt White (pictured, amid piles of cabbage) makes Vick, Tyson, Rose, and Tiger seem like life coaches. He was once a successful, healthy, relatively happy guy, but now he's taking career advice from a former student/slacker and cooking up meth in an RV. Wha happen?

It was no shock that Snooki has naked photos on the internet, but we were a little surprised to hear that she may have been a part of a teenager's death.

Word came this morning that two networks, A&E and Discovery, are fighting over quitting governor Palin's proposed reality series about her native homeland, the Alaska. Which she would host. If this thing actually goes to air, what'll it be like?

Last night was the premiere of TLC's newest road-to-recovery reality show. A&E's Intervention casts a long crack-addled shadow in the genre with its consistently captivating profiles of people hitting rock-bottom and the experts who help them. So, is Addicted necessary?

The unemployable starlet's only gig was helping children in India, and that may be in jeopardy now that the country is thinking of banning her due to visa violations and talking shit about the country on Twitter.

When there's a crime on campus it's time to bring in the big guns: Frat Cop. He'll bend alllll the rules—dude, you gonna waste that brew?—to discover the truth and uncover justice. Bonus: stars former intern John Trowbridge!

Geico has always been known for their commercials, but they've never featured geriatric gazillionaires singing power ballads about customer service. Between acting, singing, and being stupid rich, Warren Buffet is now a triple threat.