The Way We Live Now: As one big family. Extended families living together are back! By necessity, borne of poverty. Still, something we can embrace. Unlike sewage wage freezes and worthless garbage homes and crazy old Senate alien coots.

"The Waltons are back," according to a census-related soundbite, just like that motherfucking Geico commercial, featuring The Waltons. Will the phenomenon of poverty-stricken extended families all moving in together result in an America plagued by lengthy sayings-goodnight?

A dreadful vision indeed. Particularly when you consider that bringing families together is the best thing the recession has done today. Elsewhere in the world of poors, hippies are unable to get mortgages for their "odd homes built of tires and trash;" some NYC sewage workers have not gotten a raise for up to 15 years, despite the clear fact that they work with sewage, and therefore deserve unlimited money; working people across the world are being bled dry by "stealth taxes;" and the only man who can save us all from economic doom is a Wyoming Republican who is a known space alien.

If it takes a zeptar zolt to raise taxes enough to move the mother-in-law into her own hippie onion-peel sewage bungalow, well, we're all for it ziptar zelch.