[Barack Obama's signature on his long-gestating health care reform bill, which he signed today. Image via The White House's Flickr]

Two months after Jersey voters booted him, ex-Gov. Jon Corzine landed two new jobs today.

Two words: RICHARD. ALPERT. That is all I care about tonight on LOST. But if LOST ain't your thing, be sure to jump into the #tvparty with other non-losties, because there's other great stuff on tonight, like RuPaul's Drag Race.

Scott Brown is telling supporters his opponent in 2012 is going to be Rachel Maddow.

Dear Internet, tonight—at 8:00 PM ET on FOX—the Top 11 American Idol finalists will perform live for your votes, singing Billboard #1 Hits. Oh, yeah—accompanied by mentor MILEY CYRUS (seriously). More inside, along with your open thread!

Ken Layne has a blockbuster scoop: on Sunday, while Barack Obama was supposed to be fixing America's broken healthcare system, he was actually reading the Sunday funnies. Specifically, "Pickles."

Putting the serious issues that started True Life's season aside, last night's episode focused on couples with online addictions affecting their IRL relationships. The standout story starred Nicole and George, whose internet deceits threatened their young "love".

Housing Works, an AIDS and homelessness organization, opened its new thrift shop in Midtown last night. We were there along with some Real Housewives, Marc Jacobs' boyfriend, a Bravo boss, and a "day gay." We even got some questions answered.

Today we learned that litigious state attorneys general are frivolously suing the gubbmint to keep expenses down. Of course, this sparked yet another health care debate in the comments, and we heard from a civic minded doctor.

TONIGHT: It's time to break out the guyliner forLost's Richard Alpert episode, V airs its catch-up episode, Food Wars heads to Texas, Biggest Loser sends its contestants home, and the Bad Girls assemble for part two of their reunion.

Tumblr's always been the blogging platform for America's obsessive coastal elites, with its smart-looking templates and its super-easy conversation system. It's appropriate, then, that the precious New York startup plans to make its money selling internet fashion.

[Celebrated actress Marisol Hartigan filming "Law & Order: SVU" with Sharon Stone (not pictured) today; image via Bauer-Griffin]

After talking about her hilarious Ambien-induced tweeting problems, Kristin Chenoweth completed an obstacle course of horror movies to show Hollywood that she is ready for her first big role as a scream queen.

The Minutemen are getting back together! (Not the band. Sorry.) The border-guarding, gun-toting vigilantes are heading to Arizona with rifles to "defend" America. Just in time for Congress to take on immigration reform. What could possibly go completely crazy?

Jerry Springer is set to host a new dating game show, Three Sheets gets picked up by the Travel Channel, Hairspray's Nikki Blonsky will star in a new comedy called Huge, Fox finally kills Brad Garrett's Til Death.

Charges against Al Sharpton's ex-wife and daughter for allegedly cussing at cops during a traffic stop have been dismissed. The New York Post reserves the right to continue charging them with being related to Al Sharpton. [NYP]

Today on Tyra the contestants from Modelville, the reality-show within the Tyra Banks show, appeared to talk about their experience thus far and their childhood traumas that drive them.

Just in time to make folks panic that the Commie-Nazi Welfare Fag Era really has descended, a new magazine about same sex weddings has launched. Look for copies of Equally Wed to start falling from the sky, crushing straight children.

Tax time is fast upon us, so New York's Department of Taxation and Finance has released its list of top delinquent taxpayers. One of them is Frederick Whittemore, a recently retired lifelong bigwig at Morgan Stanley. Taxes are for suckers!

Last night was the premiere of Discovery Channel's Atlas 4D. Like Sunday night's Life, it is a slow-motion heavy look at our world, but with less animal porn and more geology porn.