Legendary "activist investor" Carl Icahn's latest bid for the film studio was rejected again, but with his track record of hostile takeovers, and the studio's love of Ashton Kutcher, these execs may want to start job hunting soon.

There's never been a better time to go on a crime spree in California. To cut the state's $20 billion budget deficit, under a proposed plan convicted felons can be released on parole with no supervision. Not a bad idea!

A pornstar who apparently just woke from a four-month slumber says she screwed Tiger Woods

Julia Allison has pulled the plug on her life-casting ridiculousness because it was a failure in every measurable way her "soul is exhausted". This is so sad. What's going to happen to all those delightful rebloggers? (h/t Sautechef) [NonSociety]

Fed up with the constant complaints about Toyota's brakes not working, "Akio Toyoda," CEO extraordinare, stopped by the CBS studios to give David Letterman and the Late Show audience a piece of his mind. Even Jay Leno didn't escape unscathed.

Since Damages started airing on the FX Network, it's always had a fun—and creative—time playing with viewer expectations. Now, the series is taking the bold step of having an in-show character recreate the first season as a film.

Wikileaks.org is a website legendary in certain circles for posting documents people want hidden from the world. The Pentagon is not a fan. Now, Wikileaks is accusing the U.S. of spying on its editors.

Did some of the Gawker.TV interns get work at 90210? On tonight's episode, the kids at West Beverly Hills High made some creative editing to a school gossip program. If only cutting up a Heidi Montag interview was this easy...

On Barack's big night, guess where Michelle was? Dining at Aquavit in New York, which is owned by the White House's favorite hunky chef, Marcus Samuelsson. (Above) Michelle ate lobster salad while probably sending Obama dirty texts under the table.

Now that tea partiers have proven that what Americans don't want is health-care coverage, we're forced to ask: What do Americans want? To be reassured God loves us and that death is no big deal. Also: To be scared shitless!

Grizzled old man Duane "Dog" Chapman and his wife, Beth, stopped by The Joy Behar Show tonight to talk about his new book. After espousing their religious values, they cited their hair as a reason they are popular. Ugh.

On tonight's Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler took aim at Bravo's Real Housewives series. Maybe we are partial to trashy entertainment, but Kelly Killoren Bensimon, of The Real Housewives of New York City, seems too easy a target for Handler.

What do Barack Obama and Rep. Eric "Salty" Massa have in common? They have both tickled people... to disastrous results. During an interview on Indonesian television, we learned of the time Obama's tickling caused a friend to break his arm.

A six-year-old Chinese boy has seven fingers on one hand, eight on the other, [Update: Wait, where is the eighth one? I keep counting seven] and eight toes on each foot, reported local media. This is a world record. [TorontoSun]

Our old weekend editor Foster Kamer made a joke about Cablevision CEO James Dolan shoving his penis down another man's throat. Now Cablevision is sending angry emails and assembling a legal team.

Sexist joke waiting to happen: Man leaps to near-death from moving vehicle to avoid ex-girlfriend.

Johnny Sanchez talks about how it sucks to be mistaken for someone from the Middle East in this post 9/11 world.

Negative role model Joe Biden's four-letter influence has taken hold, at the corner of Flatbush and St. Marks, where mischievous Brooklyn protested developer Bruce Ratner's Atlantic Yards gentrification party today. Ratner is not amused. But everyone else is!

Bow Wow carpet-bombed Twitter; Graydon Carter's hair hit the social scene; and Lynn Fox called herself a mean name. The Twitterati were out, about and running off at the mouth.

It's that time again—time to put a wrench in the smoothness of your day and get all befuddled as you watch tonight's new episode of LOST. Luckily, you'll be in good company. Inside, your open thread for discussion.