Steve Jobs is so powerful, you can get rich just imitating the computer mogul. That seems to be the theory behind the premium cable network show under development with Fake Steve Jobs blogger Dan Lyons and noted director Larry Charles.

[Despite recent rumors, Nicolas Sarkozy and his wife Carla Bruni-Sarkozy looked quite happy leaving Columbia University today, where the French president gave a speech to students. Image via Getty]

In honor of Ricky Martin's admission today, I'm just going to cry and watch Livin' La Vida Loca on repeat. Just kidding (kind of)! I'll be in the #tvparty discussing the Cappie/Casey dilemma. Plus two Showtime originals.

Today Ricky Martin dropped a crazy truth bomb on the world and acknowledged he is a "homosexual man." Yeah, duh! But he's not the only public figure still hiding—unsuccessfully—in the glass closet.

It's that time again, folks. Tonight—from 8:00 to 10:00 PM ET on ABC—this season's 11 Dancing with the Stars hopefuls will sashay across the ballroom for the judges' scores and your votes. More inside, plus your open thread!

Greek's season finale will leave us wondering about Casey and Cappie, 10 Things I Hate About You is back, Kell on Earth goes to LA and back for its season finale, and Ben Stiller stops by The Daily Show.

Today we looked at the overabundance of black folks on C-Span (that's sarcasm, folks!), sparking a discussion about racism and other nasty prejudices. One commenter summed them all up nicely.

Are you fed up with Elementary school stage performances? It's always a lame collection of Christmas songs sung by a bunch of smelly 1st graders or a gathering of smellier kindergardener banging on xylophones. That is, until now!

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Last night on Kirstie Alley's Big Life, Kirstie celebrated her birthday! And everyone was there! Her kids, her friends, and even her Look Who's Talking co-star John Travolta. Was it sweet that he came? Yes. Was it novel? Hardly.

Census Bureau director Robert Groves publicly apologized Friday for including the word "Negro" in the census this year. He apologized to a caller on C-Span, a.k.a. "Black-Span." Not "Negro-Span!" Take note, white folks. [USNWR]

The cops arrested someone for threatening Eric Cantor over the weekend, proving him right about everything. Here is the threatening man demanding that the film Babe be removed from video stores, because he is God, and Lucifer was a pig.

Columnist Kathy Kristof, on rumors of a dalliance with New York Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr.:

Get started on the WWE, Ricky Martin finally comes out of the closet, 24 gets canceled, Blossom will play Sheldon's love interest on The Big Bang Theory, and could this be the poster for the new Arrested Development movie?

Steve Jobs is paranoid about security. The Apple CEO doesn't just happen to allow strangers to approach him, as during Jobs' coffee with his Google counterpart last week. Just ask anyone familiar with Jobs' high-security New York Times visit.

Though long believed to be the hips-swivelingest, child-adoptingest, Miami-livingest, women-never-datingest straight pop star in town, Ricky Martin has revealed today, on his website, that he is a gay person who does gay things.

The Way We Live Now: Engaged in inexplicable schemes. We like to say "Oh, it was just the dementia," or "Oh, it was just our fundamental misunderstanding of our own economic system." But who's to say we're not just crazy?

While we were digging around the itemized disbursements of the Republican National Committee in search of lesbians, we found a couple trips marked "office supplies" that are both wonderful (and wasteful?) in very different ways.

Two of that show's stars are tromping back onto television. Also today: a biopic gets a benefactor, Madonna makes a bad life choice, and aieee!!! Godzilla!!!

Today at Gawker.TV, Rod Blagojevich can't work a computer, Ned Flanders' tips on getting your kids into Easter, Food Revolution's revolting developments about our country's health problems, and Dan Rather and Tila Tequlia co-host a morning show together.