It's like Good Will Hunting, Russian style! Grigory Perelman, a 43-year-old unemployed genius, solved a century-old math problem and is in line for a big payday, but so far he's saying "nyet" to the prize money.

This should shock no one. Country singer, and Celebrity Rehab star, Mindy McCready says Roger "Rocket" Clemens had "a lot of problems" getting it up during their affair, which started when she was 15 years old. Gross. [Fox News]

The Large Hadron Collider Doomsday Machine was ready to shock the world today with a huge explosion that normal people cannot understand. But it failed. The Guardian's live blogger was disappointed. Update: It worked! But we're still alive.

Scott E. in LA sent us this Dish Network/TV Guide listing for American Idol. It must have been written by the biggest Ellen DeGeneres fan at all of TV Guide. Her love of Ellen outweighs even her love of employment.

Lady Gaga and Sandra Bullock: What do these two attractive female celebrities have in common? They were both featured in the headlines of conservative opinion columns today! Let us investigate why Sandra Bullock and Lady Gaga were in the headlines.

Remember H1N1? It was like this new cancer or something. Apparently people were worried about it? Well, the thing is still out there, and cases are spiking in southern states. Oh well, not much we can do about it. [CNN]

Brian Williams is officially the king of cameos. Tonight, Williams joined Jimmy Fallon to slow jam the news on Late Night, and what resulted was a hilariously inappropriate, dick joke-laden retelling of the health care reform bill's passing. Video inside.

Karl Rove was on The Tonight Show this evening to pimp out his new memoir, Courage and Consequence, but it seemed all Jay Leno wanted to do was make the man cry about his tortured childhood. The awkward video, inside.

The last time we checked, the number one goal of a television network was to get the best ratings possible. Employing a suspender-laced geriatric is not high on the list. When will CNN realize this and fire Larry King?

Woah! The RNC staffer who spent RNC money at a bondage-themed club has been fired.

Substitute the mylar balloon for a yellow dinghy and the quest for a reality show with an international custody battle and, voila! Law and Order's Boat Girl is born! Unfortunately for us, she never makes a gaffe on Larry King.

The Daily Show returned from its hiatus with a vengeance tonight, with Jon Stewart and Co. tackling the fallout of last week's passage of the health care reform bill. A hilariously spirited debate, and unique solution for the outrage, inside.

If you just replace "fuck" with "fudge" and the coke with popcorn, Scarface would make an appropriate Kindergarten play, right? How you respond to this question says much about the type of parent you are/will be. Regardless, this video of kindergartners putting on Scarface is incredible.

Poor Bill O'Reilly. The left hates him. And ever since Jon Stewart called him Fox's "voice of reason," many Fox viewers hate him. Now his lead-in, Shepard Smith, has crossed the line: He made fun of his epic sweary outtake.

Tonight's Gossip Girl could have resulted in a Jenny Humphrey date rape were it not for professional hero-for-hire Nate Archibald. How did he find her in time to stop it? Luckily, his cell phone had a Google app for that.

Kate Gosselin is currently on Dancing with the Stars. She is also—still—a horrid, difficult piece of work. So it's no wonder that, on tonight's episode, her dance partner screamed, "I quit!" and walked out on her. Video inside.

We were alerted to the existence of so-called 'party crews' by a breakdancing enthusiast who wanted to shoot down speculation that his people started the Philadelphia flash mobs. He said they were "party crews." What are these "party crews"?

The death of Mitch Hedberg was something a lot of people saw coming. The man smoked like a chimney and took a variety of drugs. Here, Hedberg performs back in 1998—he died of an overdose seven years later.

Here is a frightening thing for a frightening time. A 2.5-foot giant isopod that was found attached to a submersible robot. These actually exist, deep under the sea, where they feast on whale carcasses. Another terrifying angle, after the jump.

Exciting news in Facebookland: In a secret memo, Facebook told advertisers that they are doing away with "becoming a fan" brands. Instead, you will "like" brands, just how you "liked" your friend's drunken status update.