Not only might it get her banned from the country but her documentary about child trafficking drew only 224,000 viewers when it aired on BBC April 1. More people watched an old Gene Kelly film at the same time.

America is a nation of mostly poor, unattractive people who take their cues on life from the fictional actions of rich, attractive characters on television. The NBC network, your father figure, has decided to educate our slackjawed populace. With television!

What started as an innocent comment on Elisabeth Hasselbeck's dress turned into accusations of full on lesbianism on The View today. Goofy uses of the following terms abound: "pancakes", "Sappho Walters."

Sometimes making a fortune is dumb, writes entrepreneur Charlie O'Donnell—which is why, O'Donnell adds, Foursquare will wisely walk away from a rumored $100 million offer from Yahoo. It's the sort of cocky move pioneered by companies like Twitter.

Did Slash really wear an I'm with Coco pin on The Tonight Show last night? NBC doesn't want you to know, but it's true.

Recently returned from her Martian tour, Flash Jordan performs some hits on public access. The cosmically crazy diva sings of interstellar Cadillac drives, Elvis sightings, and space hats, then slow-jams to a dog. Fact: spaniels don't care about the cosmos!

The beloved actress of yore has landed a new plum role. Also today: an indie movie has an unsettling romance at its center, an '80s horror flick gets a remake, the zombie show finds its lead, and ratings news.

America's most famous teenage mother has a new commercial denouncing pre-marital sex. The message of the spot is basically, "If Sarah Palin is not your mother, don't have a baby as a teen." There's also a Levi Johnston guest spot!

Representative Bart Stupak hijacked the most important domestic policy priority of the Democratic party until the bill was suitably damaging to one of the most important constituencies of the party. Now he wants to quit because no one likes him.

Shocked at the behavior of the fellow who brought you all those tasty Cadbury Creme Eggs? Well, at least he's not tarring and feathing law enforcement vehicles like the other folks in this video!

For those of you who reject the "America is the Roman Empire" hypothesis, we have six words for you to chew on, along with your BK Crown-shaped Chicken Tenders:"Luxury Home Foreclosure Private Jet Tour."

You know how when you fly, you have to remove your laptop from your bag before you put it through the X-ray machine, to prevent bombings and such? Well, the iPad will be exempt from that little precaution.

When one girl sits down for a Jerseylicious makeover it's purple eyeshadow, teasing, and make-up artist drama for the win. One Crushable blogger sits down at New Jersey's newly famous Gatsby Salon to get her Jerseylicious look on.

Well, at least in his own mind, he is. The North Korean communist newspaper Rodong Sinmun says that Kim's drab track suit, called the Pyongyang, is the newest trend sweeping the globe. Make way on the imaginary runways.

If you're a good ol' American bear hugger but you wish to appear more continental, learn to kiss on the cheek. Muah!

When she's not busy telling clients what kind of behavior "will get them blow jobs," Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stranger is good at shaping other personal habits. Tonight's episode featured her trying to teach a Silicon Valley entrepreneur how to dance.

Maybe the right-wing bent of Fox News is just a mistake? Maybe Rupert Murdoch just doesn't know what a liberal is? During an interview in the UK DC, the News Corp chairman couldn't name a single Democrat on Fox.

Rachel Maddow was on Late Night last night, and in her usual style poked delightful fun at the hilarity of Republicans these days. With their recent expenditures, she admits that maybe it's a little more exciting than it seemed.

A judge yesterday rejected 26 year-old Long Islander Danielle Cavalieri's claim that she should be able to keep a $19,000 engagement ring because her (now ex) fiancee cheated on her. Long Island men were like, "Yes." [NYP]

[Sarah Jessica Parker getting into a Prius outside her house; image via Bauer-Griffin]