A funny thing about New Orleans is nobody has any idea how many people live there since that hurricane destroyed everything. You might say the census is the biggest thing to hit New Orleans since Katrina! Don't say that. [NYT]

Last night's South Park illustrated the growing problem of Farmville addiction. Apparently, full-fledged breakdown can be reached with only three days of your farm's growth stagnating. Thankfully, Stan fertilizes Kyle's farm and everything ends well.

Tabloid sex monster Andrea Peyser today comes out against wilding. Except love wilding.

We're pretty sure someone has screwed with the speed governor on this golf cart.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Ed Westwick dumps Jessica Szohr over a dramatic jetsetting affair. Lindsay Lohan's new stepmother used to be her assistant, and even Dina thinks it's "incestuous." Whitney Houston wasn't snorting coke, she has allergies. XOXO, Thursday Gossip Roundup.

President Obama and Russian President Dmitry Medvedev signed a new nuclear arms treaty today in Prague. Medvedev called it a "win-win" situation. [BBC]

Midwestern jihadist David Brian Stone, leader of the Hutaree militia, was secretly recorded by an undercover FBI agent saying he was going to fight the "new world order" and kill cops. Stone's lawyer says he was just talking shit.

The International Space Station now has a powder room for sponge baths and a walk-in closet, which means there will be plenty of room to perform weightless somersaults while eating bananas and playing floating chess. [AP]

Have you ever wondered how you wound up naked in the hall closet clutching a pint of Ben & Jerry's? Or how you woke up with the tip of your finger cut off? A few doctors may have answers.

Last month, the magazine's in-house prick Bill Kristol used Napoleon to describe Obama's health care victory. Now it's Gary Andres, who compares the Democratic Party to a tainted Tylenol of the 1980s. Who is tampering with the Democrats' package?

Conspiracy theorists, can you feel the excitement? It's Yale pre-tap night, when the pimply kids who will someday control the world's puppet governments run around campus looking like fools, so they can join Secret Societies. BullBlog and IvyGate have pictures.

In the aftermath of Haiti's devastating earthquake, Obama has emerged as a leading criminal figure and "menacing underworld force" controlling a "robbery empire," reports The Washington Post. No, no, not President Obama—Haitian Gang Lord Kidnapper Obama.

The producers who made Jersey Shore are now working on literally-named spin-off The Persian Version. This is in addition to the Asian version in L.A. and the Russian version in Brighton Beach. Reality television: 21C minstrel shows?

Qatar's plane-smoking diplomat is in custody. Their embassy released a pissed-off caps-locked statement.

On Thursday, Oprah will announce a new evening show to debut on her soon-to-be-broadcasting network, OWN. It is called "Oprah's Next Chapter," because why put any thought into a title when you have so much money to count. [WSJ]

Glenn Beck's media empire netted him enough money last year to buy 79,000 blackboards. Too bad it's probably all tied up in gold! Where did most of that money come from, anyway? Publishing. That's right. Book learning. [Forbes]

Once upon a time, Kate Major was a celebrity journalist who "crossed the line" to bang Jon Gosselin. Now that she's engaged to Michael Lohan, we emailed to ask if she's repeating her "mistake." Her pissed-off email response below!

Virginia's Republican Governor Bob McDonnell forgot something on Tuesday! Was it... his car keys? Not quite. Was it... his wife's birthday? Getting closer! Was it... to include any mention of slavery in his proclamation of Confederate History Month? Why... yes!

Tonight, South Park made comment on Facebook and its obsessives by brilliantly taking every ridiculous thing about what the social network has become and explaining it with hilariously awkward (and eerily accurate) "IRL" interactions. Inside, the best—and funniest—moments.