The mother of CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin's purported love child has written an essay about being a single mom. If you've ever wondered what it's like to raise the baby of a high profile news figure, read on!

There is a magical key—available for just $27!—which allows the holder to unlock every subway gate in New York. It is illegal of course. Still, Someone needs to make one of these for ice cream trucks. [NYDN, pic]

So, let's try something new! Each weekend I will be posting a humorous example of sketch comedy that you can watch. Here is today's installment. It is from the funny British sketch show "Big Train," featuring Simon Pegg.

The Tribeca Film Festival, that beacon of springtime, kicked off this week. Check out our gorgeous golden Stoli Twitter Room, where you can read all the Tweets of the Twitter elite, including wicked insights, film reviews and breaking Spitzer sightings, among all things TFF.

A landmark film of the German expressionist movement, This movie tells the tale of an evil hypnotist and his unwitting pawn, Cesare, the somnambulist. Equal parts art house, romance, and horror this 1920s silent film is not to be missed!

Senator Lindsey Graham was a key Republican supporter of the Democrats' proposed climate change and energy legislation. Now he has withdrawn his support because Democrats might decide to pursue immigration reform first. Wait... how does that make sense? Logic Report!

As part of a new Discovery Channel series physicist Stephen Hawking says that he's convinced aliens are out there, but that we should avoid them because they will probably come to earth and kick our asses like in the movies.

A rogue employee of the British Foreign Office wrote a satirical (?) memo with suggestions for the Pope's September UK visit. Included: "launch of 'Benedict' condoms" and "Open an abortion ward". Now the British government has apologized.

Kate Hudson was spotted at Coachella with weirdo British rocker Thom Yorke. Bret Michaels lives. Eating a burger is physically impossible for Heidi Montag. Kate's babies get cleared by the Department of Labor. Sunday's gossip roundup is a creep.

Tonight's SNL may not be great, but at least we had this: the first of what will hopefully be many hilarious promos for the Betty White-hosted May 8th episode. Watch as White talks about web rumors that she's a "cougar."

British superstar historian Orlando Figes has admitted to leaving scathing Amazon reviews about fellow historians' books. His brilliant pseudonym: "orlando-birkbeck." (He teaches at Birkbeck, University of London.) This sparked a massive historian fight and lawyers were called. Historians! [Guardian] (pic)

The Hubble telescope is 20 years-old today. It's produced many beautiful images. Here's a new one: A "three-light-year-tall pillar of gas and dust that is being eaten away by the brilliant light from nearby stars." (click to enlarge) [NASA]

Last Sunday, 32 year-old Hugo Alfredo Tale-Yax was stabbed while coming to the aid of a woman being attacked by a knife-wielding assailant. He bled to death on a Queens sidewalk as almost 25 pedestrians walked by.

Last week, Burger King began testing a new brunch menu. On Friday, people paid $250 to hear Joe Biden speak at a brunch fundraiser. Today, socialite person Julia Allison ate two back-to-back brunches. Let's talk about the problem of brunch.

Usually if an employee quits to pursue another exciting opportunity, it is a time of celebration. Not for Mahalo CEO Jason Calacanis. One of his employees sent out a super nice resignation letter. Calacanis' response: "Horribly disappointed in you."

For a couple hundred thousand dollars, you can live the life of Real Housewives Ramona Singer, Kelly Bensimon, or Jill Zarin in the Hamptons this summer. Just what you've been dreaming about, no doubt!

Kinda creepy: The Spanish guy who got the world's first full face transplant is shaving

Making metaphors on the futility of war through combined stop motion and live-action experimentation, two titular Neighbours fight to the death over the only thing they've ever had to share: the single flower that blooms between their identical homesteads.

Here is a theory about the Goldman Sachs case which comes as much from our ignorance of all things financial as anywhere: Basically, we are pissed that Goldman Sachs made a lot of money while everyone else went broke.

This sketch comes from season 3 of consistently butt-gusting Mr. Show. David Cross has seemed to master the art of the comedic nervous breakdown and the old guy sitting next to him mastered the art of being emotionless and elderly.