Plastic surgeons make a lot of their money off of human insecurities, and it wasn't surprising to see them on The Doctors discussing those lacks of human hygiene that gross them out the most before surgery.

Make it happy! Today's spa-tastic Gilt Groupe sale is just what the doctor ordered. Save up to 50% on Clarins Suncare, Super Restorative Skincare, Cleansing Regimens, Cellulite Control, and Men's lines. Clarins also makes a great Mother's Day gift (next Sunday, people!). Join Gilt Groupe now to get in on the savings. Sale starts at noon!

After her jihad against fish sticks, she waged war on photographers angling for a Kate Hudson upskirt. Paris Hilton has a dancefloor fun-off. Lady Gaga does not subsist on baby food. Is Julia Roberts jealous of Sandra? Thursday gossip ahoy!

First, MacLaren strollers ate up your baby's fingers. Then, your naturalistic baby sling smothered your baby. And now, Simplicity and Graco cribs are being recalled, because they will "suffocate or strangle" your baby. Your baby! Your baby! Your baby! [Pic]

[Stupid, ugly Dominic Cooper and Amanda Seyfried being puppyish in New York yesterday; image via Splash]

You'd think that any rationale human being would understand that Chatroulette on live television would be a bad idea... but you'd be wrong. Watch as this German TV show's Chatroulette segment quickly becomes a disaster.

[via YouTube]

The recent death of a homeless Good Samaritan has tabloid morality arbiter Andrea Peyser wondering how New Yorkers "can be so callous." Especially when they have nice role models like Andrea Peyser, who always advocates for niceness? [NYP]

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Republicans now control the Oklahoma Legislature and they are wasting no time in pushing their agenda on everyone, even if it means costing the debt-ridden state a lot of money in costly legal battles. Oklahoma — fighting the good fight. [AP]

It's pretty easy to knock Britain for having a boring political scene, compared to Ukraine at least. The Guardian called on its readers to submit their own political posters and the results are dry, funny, and even gross. Let's look.

Attention foodiots! Stop snapping iPhone pictures of that grain-fed, humanely slaughtered, free-range veal burger and order up some genetically-modified super corn, because your whole cause is a scam and isn't helping anyone but Whole Foods. According to some, at least.

It's finally here. The Chinese nightclub named after our very own president had its soft opening and reviews are starting to come out. There were half-naked people in scary costumes, go-go dancers, and tons of creeps dancing to bad music.

After realizing they look like huge assholes to everyone outside of the finance industry, GOP senators have decided to allow a debate on the financial regulation bill to begin today. "We owed the American people our best effort." [NYT]

Hey! Arizona still has good citizens left. Pima County Sheriff Clarence Dupnik declared his refusal to comply with his state's ugly, xenophobic new law, calling it "humiliating" and "racist." Way to go, Dupnik! Too bad you will probably get sued.

[This gentleman was arrested for a violating his parole and shaving his mustache. Don't ask what "it" is. Pic via The Smoking Gun]

Oprah got Naomi Campbell to agree to a "no phone zone" pledge to not use her phone in the car, and a "no phone throwing zone" pledge to not assault people. The "no blood diamonds zone" pledge remained unsigned. [WWD]

Five times more oil than previously thought may be leaking into the Gulf of Mexico.

New York City, the "capital of language density in the world," may be home to as many as 800 languages—some of which will be extinct in 20 years. And you thought you were impressive for knowing French. [Photo]

Tonight on The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert profiled a "difference maker" who flips the bird at cops every time he sees them. Colbert then pointed out what the man has in common with some of America's other greatest assholes.

A 12-year-old died last week after playing the "choking game," according to Santa Monica police—the latest in a long string of deaths apparently resulting from adolescent self-asphyxiation. What is going on with kids these days?