Asshole NYPD bike-shove cop Patrick Pogan: guilty of false police report, acquitted of assault.

Watch as these surfer's drag an innocent, cute sheep out into the rough waters of the ocean. The sheep is confronted with only two options, learn to surf, or perish like so many sheep before... what will he do?

In your pleasant Thursday media column: Sarah Palin produces a string of English-language words that ostensibly describe Glenn Beck, a NYT reporter is hazy on sourcing rules, Barack Obama smooches the press, and management moves at Forbes.

Letterman decided to treat Leno like he was the pinata at his own birthday party by cracking a few jokes at his expense. Reviving the late night wars, he takes another opportunity to call out Leno for being an 'ass.'

How do Hollywood producers know when stars are "bankable"? They rely on a celebrity's Q rating, which tracks how positively or negatively the American public feels about that person.

This smarty pants spelling bee participant doesn't know whether to be offended or amused when he hears the word he has to spell out.

Didn't the market for huge swords end in the Middle Ages? Maybe the horde is making a resurgence. For some reason, this guy has a company that sells legitimate death-dealing swords.

Experts on family because they play one on TV, the cast of Modern Family acted as food critics on Top Chef Masters to determine which chef does family fare best.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is probably coming to NYC next week. Are you just gonna take that?

We saw another contestant fall in the line of duty last night, and it was something of a surprise! Not that big of a surprise, there are few surprises when there are six people left, but still a surprise.

In preparation for Betty White's much anticipated SNL hosting gig, the St. Olaf Glee Club offers up this tribute to the Golden Girls great. The choir boys (Frank DeCaro!) sing her praises as the goddess' best-ofs mash-up with the music.

Meet Gail, a 70+ senior living in Arizona's biggest retirement community, which is currently being captured on camera for WE.tv's Sunset Daze. She's a show business-obsessed gal who's son Gary has been styling the same hairdo for her since 1966.

There's no better way to attract customers to your delightfully anachronistic manual car wash than girls in bikinis. Oh, you live in an area surrounded by Star Wars freaks? Well just add some Princess Leia slave costumes and voila!

Last week we brought you the heartbreaking story of Aaron Jamison, the terminally ill man selling ad space on his cremation urn in order to raise money to keep his wife out of debt. Well, he succeeded.

The auction for a Vogue "internship" has closed. The price to spend a week at the office and meet Anna Wintour: $42,500. Which is probably more than the annual salary of a Vogue editorial assistant. [Image via Getty]

Third-year Harvard Law student Stephanie Grace sent a mass email about whether black people are categorically less intelligent than white people. Now her campus, legal blogs, and the Black Law Students Association are up in arms, and Stephanie is hiding.

Randy Jackson's limited vocabulary is a constant source of hilarity on American Idol, making the talentless tripe on-stage somewhat tolerable. Jimmy Kimmel Live played a promo of the show that would cut out any lameness and leave only Jackson's mantra.

Joy Behar insinuated that Hogan is into his own daughter by demonstrating her likeness compared to his ex-wife and his current fiance. Responding to Behar's claims that he "has a type," Hogan is baffled and says "well, that's my daughter."

The move to New Zealand does not agree with the Vogue honcho because he almost lost the title of being the best thing about America's Next Top Model. Wake up, ALT, a noted fashion photographer is gunning for you!

Last night on Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler decided to hit back at Radaronline.com, who claimed to have a sex tape of Handler when she was 23. Watch as Chelsea lays the smackdown on Radar. Video inside.